yeah...

In school we just finished our Infant/Pregnancy massage module. Of course, being a massage class, our finals are hands-on.
Worst massage I have ever given in my entire life. My draping was... awful. Embarassing. The sheets just wouldn't stay where I wanted them, and on top of that, apparantly I'm ultra-conservative in my draping... except when the sheets don't stay put... Blargh! And then my strokes were just all over the place, flow was bad, choppy. I completely missed a stroke on one side. I guess I could blame it on lack of time (we only had an hour). At least I missed the stroke on the WHOLE side, instead of just missing a limb. >.<
But my victim was good natured and didn't get mad at me -- he'd already completed his massage training and was just waiting to take his test for his license. Then on the feedback form, he gave me mostly 4's and 5's out of 5. Yay.
I was seriously nervous for my grade because Julie kept talking to me while I was working on my guy. (My goal is to give a massage without being corrected.) And she talked to me for quite a while over my wrist angles. I know she was just trying to keep me safe, and she's right. I really need to keep my wrists straight, but the angles were weird, awkward, and frustrating. It felt more comfortable with my fingers turned in, but I do need to improve my body mechanics. Oy...
But, good news: my GPA is still a 4.0; I squeaked by with a 92%. Oh, the shame.

Okay, so everyone knows how in certain social gatherings, there are specific individuals that are allowed to get away with various things. Each group has its own mores and eccentricities... yes.
In my class alone, there are 12 students. When you are The New Kid, you have to establish yourself and "pay your dues," if you will. Now, we are enrolled in a medical school, so our uniform is scrubs. That's all well and good, except that scrubs are not the easiest thing to give a massage in. They're hot, don't breathe, aren't very flexible... Due to this, the massage kids can take off their scrubs when doing body work. Usually we'll have gym shorts and a t-shirt on under the scrubs and work in that; this is not ever explained to The New Kid, they get to learn this on their own -- after they've given a massage in scrubs, THEN you can jump in and be a Part of the class. Still The New Kid, but you're a Part of it, now.
Weird? Yes? But you get it. Good.
Now, there are cliques in the class. Even that small, we have the established group lines. We all intermingle and get along, but whatever. You're always welcome to jump group lines, but you have to be welcomed into the group whose line you're jumping into (this is usually never a problem) by being basically invited by a pre-existing Clique member.
Like middle school. Good.
I had to give a massage in scrubs a few times before I learned that scrub-less massage was okay AND, I didn't press myself onto any individual, but eased myself into various circles and am now Established. Go me. We all had to go through it.
NOW-- there are individuals who are able to do things that usually would be frowned upon or considered inappropriate.
Gina is the only one allowed to show people her nipple ring through her clothes. Because, well, she's Gina.
Rudy can say stupid stuff because, well, he's Rudy.
Vanessa can go around without a bra because her body type makes it acceptable and it isn't disgusting and, well, it's Vanessa.
I can completely derail a conversation for 5-10 minutes, and then bring it RIGHT back to the point of derailment, because, well, I'm Letha.
Each person is allowed their own Thing and nobody else can pull it off, it's a breach of territory.
So.
Enter New Kid: Creepy Carol (name changed, of course). She totally skipped the unwritten socially accepted path of Establishment and as soon as she saw everyone in t-shirts, the next day she did it. WTF. Anyway, it was the Chair Massage mod, so we didn't really have time to interact with each other because we were always in the nursing building giving chair massages for practice. So the whole group lines weren't there since we were all working.
But the Established Ones all got a weird vibe from her, didn't really know what to make of her. She's very pale, not very attractive at all. When I saw her, I seriously thought she was in her mid-late 40s and was pretty proud of her for making such a big jump to change careers to massage. Still got the creepy vibes, but whatever.
We've another New Kid, Jeannie. I like her. She's nice. No creepy vibes, just nice and quiet, kinda shy, but warm. I like her. Big fan of Jeannie. So, I was trying to bring her into a group, talking to her during break, and Carol was there, so she was in the conversation without being IN the conversation. I asked Jeannie why she went into massage and she said it's because her kids said she "always hits the right spot."
That's a good reason: someone said you're good at it. Nice, humble, open answer. Good for her.
Now, I can't ask someone close to me one question and not ask the other, so I ask Carol. Her answer... "Because I'm good at it."
Woah. ...Woah, woah. WOAH.
Humility FAIL.
You can say you're good at something without SAYING you're good at it. Arrogance, much? Holy freaking crap. Things like, "Everyone kept asking me for shoulder rubs," or "I've been told I have strong hands," and "People tell me I would be good at this," -- ANYTHING like that. Jeez.
So that put me off immediately. I don't care how good you think you are, Carol, but you will NEVER get your hands on me. Ever. Not with an attitude like that. You can be the best, but I will NEVER go to you. Just like Billy Bob can be the best singer on the planet, but if he's a douche, you will never fully enjoy his music. Seriously.
Then she starts giving me some sort of oral resume on how people she doesn't even know at work come up and ask her to work on them... WTF. I have my OWN list of success stories and I don't care to hear yours. Especially when I didn't ask for them.
Good for you, biotch. I don't care. Go away.
And she's got this massive superiority thing going on, always saying things like, "Oh, I've been doing this for years, I know what we're doing, I know how to do this, I've done it forever..." blah blah blah... "I'm good at this, I'm great" yadda yadda yadda.
Yeah, by the way, EVERYONE in our class is good. There is not a single pair of bad hands in there, so yeah, you can be good, but there is no best. We all have different styles, techniques, feels, and strengths, but there is no best. And 90% of the massages we give are actually the massages we'd like to receive, so while you think you're awesome, you're really just massaging yourself by proxy. Your massage is best for you, good for you. MY massage is the kind I'd like to receive, so it's the best for me.
And knowing that, since everyone has a different feel, you know to go to different classmates for different things. Yow want it deep, you come to me. You want it smooth and relaxing, you go to Santana. You want warmth and fluidity, you go to Rudy. There is no best. Get over yourself. Seriously.
Argh.

Now. So I'm unhappy with her as it is, and it irked me for a little while, but I didn't dwell on it too much (just enough to vent it out) but she still creeped me out. Hairstyle, grooming... just the whole package really threw me.
But I guess she thought that the conversation made us pals or something, because she'd throw a wink my way every now and then. Whatever. When I was a kid, grownups used to wink at me all the time. So I'd throw a wink back.

Remember those individually accepted things? No? Well, I do. Gina's got the piercing, Vanessa's got the unsupported boobs. Okay.
The other night, Carol comes in without a bra, in a spaghetti strap shirt, TOTALLY showing off her nipple piercing. OMFGWTF. (for you that thought i was cussing there, I actually said oh my freaking gosh, double-you-tee-eff.)
First, she does NOT have the body type to support the UNsupport she was sporting, and second SHE'S NOT GINA. Everyone who saw her walk in went bug-eyed and looked at each other with OMG looks. Karen and I looked at each other and just couldn't say ANYTHING for a good... oh... 10 seconds.
Gross.
First, ladies... Not wearing a bra is not liberating. Gravity hurts. Not just you, but my eyes. Thanks.

Things that make you go "ughhh."

So... moving along, I worked at the clinic on Friday, giving chair massages, and Creepy Carol was there. [groan] She kept telling me I looked nice, that she liked my earrings, throwing me winks. wtf. She offered me a chair massage before we got started. I don't know why she didn't offer one to Jose, but I declined.
I said I don't like people touching me. I'd rather GIVE a massage than get one, thanks (and this is true).

Upon further reflection, it looks like I've got some lady deflection to do. I need a boyfriend to show up and snog me. That'd be awesome.

AUGH!!!!!!