there's no time to explain, but we're out of cough syrup and the cops are on their way
10.19.2008
I freaking LOVE these things
there's no time to explain, but we're out of cough syrup and the cops are on their way
10.16.2008
i've had it up to HERE
my mom is being frickin ridiculous.
backstory: my mom and i made a deal where i would do yardwork and projects to earn money for my car payment. yay. two days ago she put 125 in my account. i'm close to being able to make my payment.
yesterday i gave her a massage, then we go out in the yard to work in the garden. she's a mumbler and it's REALLY REALLY hard to understand her sometimes, so i ask her to repeat what she's saying and she gets mad because she hates repeating herself. or she'll walk away while she's saying something, and you're like "wtf were you saying? i only caught half of that, plus you were mumbling."
so we're in the garden and she gives me some sort of mumbled instruction, and i can't understand her, so i repeat what i thought i heard her say, then she goes off on me about how i need to change my attitude.
what?
yeah, exactly. WHAT attitude? i had NO idea what she was talking about.
so i'm bringing her the power cord and the screws we were working with and i ask her what she was talking about and she goes off on me about all the "[sigh] [tsk] [grunt] [sigh]" during the massage!" (i honestly have no recollection of that at all) and then she goes off on how it was the worst massage she's ever had and how she tried not to move at all because she didn't want to piss me off more, "AND IT WAS MY MASSAGE!"
worst massage ever? really.
"Mom, do you want my help or not?"
"I WANT YOUR WILLING HELP!"
"Then you're going to have to stop snapping at me, or I can't help you. I didn't have an attitude problem, I don't know what you're talking about."
And she goes off again about how I need to shape up fast because my attitude isn't appreciate.
wtf? i REALLY had NO CLUE what she was talking about (sighs during a massage? really, is that what set this whole thing off?). so i tell her again that if she wants my help, she has to stop yelling at me because i won't stick around to be yelled at.
so she goes off again.
so i drop the screws and the power cord, say "here you go" and walk off.
"LETHA! WE MADE AN AGREEMENT!"
"yeah, we did, but i earned the money i needed to earn to make my payment and i WILL NOT help you if you keep acting like this."
She glares at me a moment, "...I'll take the money out of your account."
"No, you won't," and she stops for a second, "you can't. Your name isn't on my account. You can't touch my money."
And I walked off. She yells something else, and I holler back, "BYE! HAVE FUN!"
And she screams at me to never ask for her help ever again.
...oooookay.
Sighing during a massage?! REALLY?! Sighing?! Now, it couldn't just be that I was prepping into slow steady breathing, or the fact that I was working around A FREAKING QUEEN SIZED BED, or that the room was effing hot because she turned the furnace on a month early... no, it's because i have an attitude problem.
so i left. i went on a bike ride, haven't spoken to her since. and now she's taking it out on my little sister.
so i'm done. every time she pulls an overreactive stunt like this, the offendED party ends up apologizing just to keep the peace. well i'm effing done with it.
i did NOTHING to warrant that behavior, i did NOTHING to deserve her little outburst. the woman doesn't even notice that this sort of behavior is wrong. that's the first time i ever stuck up for myself, and i'm not about to back down because i did NOTHING WRONG. i've been apologizing JUST to keep the peace for YEAAAAAAARS.
so i packed my stuff and i'm staying at my best friends house until further notice.
freaking. she's ALWAYS doing crap like this. i'm tired of it.
backstory: my mom and i made a deal where i would do yardwork and projects to earn money for my car payment. yay. two days ago she put 125 in my account. i'm close to being able to make my payment.
yesterday i gave her a massage, then we go out in the yard to work in the garden. she's a mumbler and it's REALLY REALLY hard to understand her sometimes, so i ask her to repeat what she's saying and she gets mad because she hates repeating herself. or she'll walk away while she's saying something, and you're like "wtf were you saying? i only caught half of that, plus you were mumbling."
so we're in the garden and she gives me some sort of mumbled instruction, and i can't understand her, so i repeat what i thought i heard her say, then she goes off on me about how i need to change my attitude.
what?
yeah, exactly. WHAT attitude? i had NO idea what she was talking about.
so i'm bringing her the power cord and the screws we were working with and i ask her what she was talking about and she goes off on me about all the "[sigh] [tsk] [grunt] [sigh]" during the massage!" (i honestly have no recollection of that at all) and then she goes off on how it was the worst massage she's ever had and how she tried not to move at all because she didn't want to piss me off more, "AND IT WAS MY MASSAGE!"
worst massage ever? really.
"Mom, do you want my help or not?"
"I WANT YOUR WILLING HELP!"
"Then you're going to have to stop snapping at me, or I can't help you. I didn't have an attitude problem, I don't know what you're talking about."
And she goes off again about how I need to shape up fast because my attitude isn't appreciate.
wtf? i REALLY had NO CLUE what she was talking about (sighs during a massage? really, is that what set this whole thing off?). so i tell her again that if she wants my help, she has to stop yelling at me because i won't stick around to be yelled at.
so she goes off again.
so i drop the screws and the power cord, say "here you go" and walk off.
"LETHA! WE MADE AN AGREEMENT!"
"yeah, we did, but i earned the money i needed to earn to make my payment and i WILL NOT help you if you keep acting like this."
She glares at me a moment, "...I'll take the money out of your account."
"No, you won't," and she stops for a second, "you can't. Your name isn't on my account. You can't touch my money."
And I walked off. She yells something else, and I holler back, "BYE! HAVE FUN!"
And she screams at me to never ask for her help ever again.
...oooookay.
Sighing during a massage?! REALLY?! Sighing?! Now, it couldn't just be that I was prepping into slow steady breathing, or the fact that I was working around A FREAKING QUEEN SIZED BED, or that the room was effing hot because she turned the furnace on a month early... no, it's because i have an attitude problem.
so i left. i went on a bike ride, haven't spoken to her since. and now she's taking it out on my little sister.
so i'm done. every time she pulls an overreactive stunt like this, the offendED party ends up apologizing just to keep the peace. well i'm effing done with it.
i did NOTHING to warrant that behavior, i did NOTHING to deserve her little outburst. the woman doesn't even notice that this sort of behavior is wrong. that's the first time i ever stuck up for myself, and i'm not about to back down because i did NOTHING WRONG. i've been apologizing JUST to keep the peace for YEAAAAAAARS.
so i packed my stuff and i'm staying at my best friends house until further notice.
freaking. she's ALWAYS doing crap like this. i'm tired of it.
10.13.2008
10.09.2008
The Show Must Go On
I'm fat.
I also crave attention, apparently.
I'm one of two people in the pilot episode of Ask Rocco: Bootcamp.
Rocco's Website
So for the next six weeks, Rocco is going to be kicking my butt Monday-Friday in an attempt to make my big booty the size it's supposed to be.
Yesterday I basically had it handed to me on a massive silver platter. I was pathetic. Worse than pathetic. I was a sad, sorry, useless, sweaty, whimpering lump of gelatin by the end of our workout yesterday. It was really bad.
I had no idea I was THAT unhealthy.
I mean, I knew I was unhealthy, just not THAT much.
So I tried harder today. And it went better. Not much better, but I recovered faster.
It was the most amazing thing; I woke up REALLY sore yesterday morning from the fit test earlier in the week, so I wasn't really looking forward to the workout, but THIS morning, my soreness wasn't nearly as bad as it was yesterday. The workout worked the soreness out. It was amazing. THIS is what it felt like when I was a gym junkie. THIS is the feeling I was addicted to. THIS is what I strove for every day.
I love THIS.
Things are going good.
My sprints still suck. Breathing is still really hard. My upper body strength is laughable. But! I was able to do situps, which really threw Rocco, because "you have so much fat on your stomach, I had no idea you could actually do them."
Yeah, that's right. I LOVE situps. I love crunches. I love them. There was a period a couple months ago where I was doing 500 crunches a night. Yeah, that's right.
So there.
I love, love, love the weak-jello feeling. It's good to be back.
I also crave attention, apparently.
I'm one of two people in the pilot episode of Ask Rocco: Bootcamp.
Rocco's Website
So for the next six weeks, Rocco is going to be kicking my butt Monday-Friday in an attempt to make my big booty the size it's supposed to be.
Yesterday I basically had it handed to me on a massive silver platter. I was pathetic. Worse than pathetic. I was a sad, sorry, useless, sweaty, whimpering lump of gelatin by the end of our workout yesterday. It was really bad.
I had no idea I was THAT unhealthy.
I mean, I knew I was unhealthy, just not THAT much.
So I tried harder today. And it went better. Not much better, but I recovered faster.
It was the most amazing thing; I woke up REALLY sore yesterday morning from the fit test earlier in the week, so I wasn't really looking forward to the workout, but THIS morning, my soreness wasn't nearly as bad as it was yesterday. The workout worked the soreness out. It was amazing. THIS is what it felt like when I was a gym junkie. THIS is the feeling I was addicted to. THIS is what I strove for every day.
I love THIS.
Things are going good.
My sprints still suck. Breathing is still really hard. My upper body strength is laughable. But! I was able to do situps, which really threw Rocco, because "you have so much fat on your stomach, I had no idea you could actually do them."
Yeah, that's right. I LOVE situps. I love crunches. I love them. There was a period a couple months ago where I was doing 500 crunches a night. Yeah, that's right.
So there.
I love, love, love the weak-jello feeling. It's good to be back.
10.06.2008
i met my personal trainer
and he is awesome. they say he's over the top, but i don't think so. he's blunt. he's straight-forward. no sugar coating. it's refreshing.
he actually looked me in the eye and said, "you're fat."
that's what i've been telling myself all along. it's nice to hear someone else say it for once.
especially someone who's going to help me along in making fitness and exercise a new habit of mine.
and he's a great listener (when he doesn't realize he's being recorded ^_^). we were able to backtrack and see what triggered everything, identify what my REAL problem is... and we're going to work it out.
but for now, i get to wear a 20 lb vest everywhere i go, every hour of the day. since i have gained roughly 20 lbs a year for so many years, i get to wear this so i know what i'll be in a year from now if i don't change.
"at 245 pounds when you're only 22, you're going to die before you're 40."
that's a scary thought.
this is going to be hard. i'm going to not want to wake up in the morning because i know that when i do, he will be there. i will not enjoy life.
this will be fun. let's get rolling.
he actually looked me in the eye and said, "you're fat."
that's what i've been telling myself all along. it's nice to hear someone else say it for once.
especially someone who's going to help me along in making fitness and exercise a new habit of mine.
and he's a great listener (when he doesn't realize he's being recorded ^_^). we were able to backtrack and see what triggered everything, identify what my REAL problem is... and we're going to work it out.
but for now, i get to wear a 20 lb vest everywhere i go, every hour of the day. since i have gained roughly 20 lbs a year for so many years, i get to wear this so i know what i'll be in a year from now if i don't change.
"at 245 pounds when you're only 22, you're going to die before you're 40."
that's a scary thought.
this is going to be hard. i'm going to not want to wake up in the morning because i know that when i do, he will be there. i will not enjoy life.
this will be fun. let's get rolling.
10.01.2008
Woohoo
So I got 118% on my Anatomy final. That's good. I'm happy with that. Bummer I missed some, though.
Last night we started our Wellness mod. So we're going over stuff like body mechanics and posture. Very... tai chi. Yeah. But we also discussed for a while the idea of Energy, where we pull out the bad energy and replace it with good energy. It sounded really hokey, but I tried it with my mom today. I visualized gold energy flowing into her from my hands and then I swept dark energy off of her. It was pretty cool.
I also give the best massages with my eyes closed, so that probably helped. Yeah.
The End.
Last night we started our Wellness mod. So we're going over stuff like body mechanics and posture. Very... tai chi. Yeah. But we also discussed for a while the idea of Energy, where we pull out the bad energy and replace it with good energy. It sounded really hokey, but I tried it with my mom today. I visualized gold energy flowing into her from my hands and then I swept dark energy off of her. It was pretty cool.
I also give the best massages with my eyes closed, so that probably helped. Yeah.
The End.
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