And today, I think I have good reason to be.
11.22.2009
11.16.2009
So Totally Single
And it sucks. I've never felt genuinely emo before, but now I kind of am. I'm actually, for the first time in a long time... actually... Sad.
11.08.2009
Just a couple things
I was scratching my head, and I felt my hair. I started to freak out for a second, because I was like, "What the crap is going on with my hair?! Why does it feel so freaking lumpy?!"
Duh. I permed it almost two months ago.
I'm tired of people that complain about their life, continually make BAD decisions, and then complain some more about how their life sucks. Things won't get better if you don't try to make them better. Jobs suck, relationships (or lack thereof) can suck, being hurt by previous relationships REALLY sucks, and not fitting in at church is lonely. Trust me, I know. But drinking, sleeping around, shooting off at everyone, letting yourself get offended where none was intended, focusing on your own ridiculous self, and dwelling on negativity will NOT fix anything. Seriously. And I'm amazed/annoyed/amused that I'm seeing this exact same behavior from multiple individuals at the exact same time.
And I have a few rants about the branch's mission plan, but I'll get on that another time.
Duh. I permed it almost two months ago.
I'm tired of people that complain about their life, continually make BAD decisions, and then complain some more about how their life sucks. Things won't get better if you don't try to make them better. Jobs suck, relationships (or lack thereof) can suck, being hurt by previous relationships REALLY sucks, and not fitting in at church is lonely. Trust me, I know. But drinking, sleeping around, shooting off at everyone, letting yourself get offended where none was intended, focusing on your own ridiculous self, and dwelling on negativity will NOT fix anything. Seriously. And I'm amazed/annoyed/amused that I'm seeing this exact same behavior from multiple individuals at the exact same time.
And I have a few rants about the branch's mission plan, but I'll get on that another time.
9.14.2009
Why my school is the abso-bloomin' bestest
I graduated from the massage program at the top of my class. Weeks after I graduated, I re-entered the school to study in the Fitness Technician program. Since it's a "medical" school, we all have to learn the basics in Anatomy and CPR and such. Seeing as how I've already taken those classes, my credits were supposed to transfer (so my tuition also went down) and I would get a vacation from school. Woohoo!
Two weeks ago, I saw that my Anatomy class would be starting soon, and I checked with the department head to make sure my credits had been tranferred. They hadn't. He, Gilbert, told me to get in touch with my admissions rep, Kathy. I went to Kathy who told me, "Oh, that's nothing I deal with, go talk to the dean," and walked off on her merry way. I emailed the dean, Terri, and got no reply. I emailed her twice. Nothing. So I emailed Ginny -- the lady in charge of the school's massage clinic - outside of my department. She forwarded it to Gilbert. He said he'd take care of it. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
I went to school on Tuesday, the day the Anatomy class started, and asked Gilbert if my credits had transferred yet. He said he didn't see why they shouldn't have, but go talk to the dean to make sure. I went to see Terri and got to wait 45 minutes for her to come to school. Woot.
When I do get a chance to see her, we're in the office discussing the situation. I'm miffed, clearly, because it took so long to get this handled. She asked how long I've been in the program (since June) and then was surprised that we're just NOW taking care of it. Derr -- that's why I'm annoyed. She's going through my massage grades and sees they're all A's, except for that one blasted B. She asked what happened (as though I'd crash landed and killed 75 children or something) and I told her that it's hard for me to get a solid A when I'm tested on things I haven't been taught. "Wrong answer," she said. "Except that's REALLY what happened. I was angry about it." She asked why I didn't come to her and dispute the grade. [Seeing as how quickly THIS matter was being addressed... right. And I remember a classmate being given a failing grade in that class because she refused to get deep tissue treatments -- BECAUSE SHE WAS LESS THAN 12 WEEKS PREGNANT. YOU DON'T WORK ON FRESHLY BAKING BUNS-IN-OVENS!]
Anyhow.
So then she asks how my other classes are going. I laugh a bit, because those have been frustrating me as well. Especially this last class, Group Fitness, because AGAIN we're being tested on things we weren't taught. My teacher saw that the test was not on things we had covered, so she made it an open book final. Which is GREAT. Except for the part where the test was on the FIRST edition of the textbook and we'd been issued the SECOND, and the questions on the final were not addressed at all. The definitions they were asking for were NOT in the book. I read BEYOND what we had covered and still nothing. Pretty annoying, really.
She then starts talking about how that's just a simple matter of updating our information and tests and shouldn't take long to solve. (Meanwhile, I still have the grade from that final. Should I dispute that?) And she started yakkin' about how she goes over textbooks before publishing, as a kind of editor or something; as though I'm supposed to be comforted that my dean edits textbooks while I'm STILL being tested on things I haven't been taught and aren't in MY textbooks anywhere. But whatever. She also went on about how teachers are getting frustrated with paper tests because this IS a medical school, we need to be hands-on, so they're starting to push hands-on tests and that should solve the problem (of the test I ALREADY took?) so there. I told her that the hands-on portion was GREAT, but it was the WRITTEN portion, which is still PART OF THE OVERALL TEST, that was poorly executed.
I love how she took my original problem and twisted it into a problem I didn't have, and then solved THAT problem. Best. Dean. Ever.
So then she shunts me out to wait for her to finish paperwork or something and says she'll be right back. When she actually just shoved me on to someone else. This other guy comes out a few minutes later, shakes my hand and apologizes that all of this has gone on. He tells me not to worry because he's going to take care of it. I never saw him again. Two minutes later another admissions rep came out and had the paperwork I needed to sign. I like how they had an admissions rep, not my own, do this. And my admissions rep was on the other side of the office, totally aware of what was going on -- she had to sign something as well.
Then I get to go to the registrar, who puts me on a non-schedule, tells me when my next class starts, what it will be, and finishes everything. Awesome.
What a great Tuesday.
On Thursday, I get a call from my admissions rep telling me that the paperwork was wrong and I get to come in and sign it all over again. Since it was a voicemail, she also told me that if she's not there when I am, the paperwork is in her box and anyone else can help me at that point (which is the most helpful she'd been this ENTIRE FREAKING TIME). I went in Friday, signed it. Done. I get a voicemail a couple hours later from the Administrator they think I'm NOT annoyed with, giving me a "friendly phonecall reminder" that my classes start on October 13. Pfffft.
And, and, and. I've been in this Fitness class since June 29. We work out together. When I get on the scale, the numbers never change. I've been out of school for a week, working out my mom, doing MY exercises. I've lost 5 pounds.
Two weeks ago, I saw that my Anatomy class would be starting soon, and I checked with the department head to make sure my credits had been tranferred. They hadn't. He, Gilbert, told me to get in touch with my admissions rep, Kathy. I went to Kathy who told me, "Oh, that's nothing I deal with, go talk to the dean," and walked off on her merry way. I emailed the dean, Terri, and got no reply. I emailed her twice. Nothing. So I emailed Ginny -- the lady in charge of the school's massage clinic - outside of my department. She forwarded it to Gilbert. He said he'd take care of it. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
I went to school on Tuesday, the day the Anatomy class started, and asked Gilbert if my credits had transferred yet. He said he didn't see why they shouldn't have, but go talk to the dean to make sure. I went to see Terri and got to wait 45 minutes for her to come to school. Woot.
When I do get a chance to see her, we're in the office discussing the situation. I'm miffed, clearly, because it took so long to get this handled. She asked how long I've been in the program (since June) and then was surprised that we're just NOW taking care of it. Derr -- that's why I'm annoyed. She's going through my massage grades and sees they're all A's, except for that one blasted B. She asked what happened (as though I'd crash landed and killed 75 children or something) and I told her that it's hard for me to get a solid A when I'm tested on things I haven't been taught. "Wrong answer," she said. "Except that's REALLY what happened. I was angry about it." She asked why I didn't come to her and dispute the grade. [Seeing as how quickly THIS matter was being addressed... right. And I remember a classmate being given a failing grade in that class because she refused to get deep tissue treatments -- BECAUSE SHE WAS LESS THAN 12 WEEKS PREGNANT. YOU DON'T WORK ON FRESHLY BAKING BUNS-IN-OVENS!]
Anyhow.
So then she asks how my other classes are going. I laugh a bit, because those have been frustrating me as well. Especially this last class, Group Fitness, because AGAIN we're being tested on things we weren't taught. My teacher saw that the test was not on things we had covered, so she made it an open book final. Which is GREAT. Except for the part where the test was on the FIRST edition of the textbook and we'd been issued the SECOND, and the questions on the final were not addressed at all. The definitions they were asking for were NOT in the book. I read BEYOND what we had covered and still nothing. Pretty annoying, really.
She then starts talking about how that's just a simple matter of updating our information and tests and shouldn't take long to solve. (Meanwhile, I still have the grade from that final. Should I dispute that?) And she started yakkin' about how she goes over textbooks before publishing, as a kind of editor or something; as though I'm supposed to be comforted that my dean edits textbooks while I'm STILL being tested on things I haven't been taught and aren't in MY textbooks anywhere. But whatever. She also went on about how teachers are getting frustrated with paper tests because this IS a medical school, we need to be hands-on, so they're starting to push hands-on tests and that should solve the problem (of the test I ALREADY took?) so there. I told her that the hands-on portion was GREAT, but it was the WRITTEN portion, which is still PART OF THE OVERALL TEST, that was poorly executed.
I love how she took my original problem and twisted it into a problem I didn't have, and then solved THAT problem. Best. Dean. Ever.
So then she shunts me out to wait for her to finish paperwork or something and says she'll be right back. When she actually just shoved me on to someone else. This other guy comes out a few minutes later, shakes my hand and apologizes that all of this has gone on. He tells me not to worry because he's going to take care of it. I never saw him again. Two minutes later another admissions rep came out and had the paperwork I needed to sign. I like how they had an admissions rep, not my own, do this. And my admissions rep was on the other side of the office, totally aware of what was going on -- she had to sign something as well.
Then I get to go to the registrar, who puts me on a non-schedule, tells me when my next class starts, what it will be, and finishes everything. Awesome.
What a great Tuesday.
On Thursday, I get a call from my admissions rep telling me that the paperwork was wrong and I get to come in and sign it all over again. Since it was a voicemail, she also told me that if she's not there when I am, the paperwork is in her box and anyone else can help me at that point (which is the most helpful she'd been this ENTIRE FREAKING TIME). I went in Friday, signed it. Done. I get a voicemail a couple hours later from the Administrator they think I'm NOT annoyed with, giving me a "friendly phonecall reminder" that my classes start on October 13. Pfffft.
And, and, and. I've been in this Fitness class since June 29. We work out together. When I get on the scale, the numbers never change. I've been out of school for a week, working out my mom, doing MY exercises. I've lost 5 pounds.
8.18.2009
Righty-o
Everything seems to be going pretty well these days, overall.
My dear Dollface has moved back upstate to be with her family, and we've acquired another roommate in her stead, and are expecting another soon. The new additions are The Artist and The Dancer. I think we'll get along fine.
Princess and Ravenhaired Beauty are sharing a room, and I will be sharing with The Artist and The Dancer. The Artist has just bought a bunkbed which she and I will share (I HAVE BOTTOM!) and The Dancer will use my old bed.
Edward Cullen and I seem to be okay. I'm just a lot more demanding that I thought I was. Oh well, I am, after all, Goddess Divine. I require attention.
School has been extremely frustating. For reasons unexplained, my class has not been allowed to train with the 2nd Wheel (200 level) students. However, the 1st Wheel EVENING students were still allowed to train. Which is a load of bullhonkey -- we're going to the SAME school, pay the SAME tuition. Why can't we have the SAME education? Load of CRAP. Sitting around watching National Geo is NOT my idea of secondary education. However, Apollo College does. I WILL be ranting about this in my student survey. For a good long time.
Because of that MONTH-LONG period of not being allowed to train, my teacher got another job and left. >:| When the school is being so stupid that the TEACHER leaves, what do you think the students are thinking? I was seriously upset. I, myself, was not caring at all anymore. It became a crap class; no point in even trying because not even the administration cares.
I have a new teacher now, and miraculously, we're allowed to workout again. I'm SO GLAD to be allowed back in the gym. I don't know what happened that made it so we couldn't train with Teacher1, but now that Teacher2 is here, we can finally get a move on. But don't think I still won't have a thing or two (or 7 billion) to say in my student survey.
I work at Massage Envy. I absolutely love it. Every job has its ups and downs, but I'm rather keen on this one. I would like to get another job at Riverpoint Sports & Wellness, and work there on my Envy days off. I'm decently busy at Envy; I work 4 days a week, a six-hour shift. I usually wind up with 4 clients, which is pretty sweet. And if they tip on their credit cards, I get a pretty sweet paycheck, which I'm REALLY looking forward to this Friday (for a multitude of reasons, but I'm excited to see my overall payout). The bummer is that I'm only paid $15 for an hour's massage, but at the same time, I have everything provided FOR me: table, sheets, laundry, creams, gels, oils, music, location, clients. If I were to be doing this all on my own, even though I'd earn more per massage, I'd have to deduct all my business expenses from that number, so when it all boils down, I'm happy with the $15 -- for now. ;)
I have repeat clients! I've only been there three weeks and I already have a following. It's so exciting. I really like what I do. I have people lying on my table and in the middle of the massage, I get this surge of gratitute for my job, and think, "wow, I am actually being PAID to do this." Ever hear that saying, "Get a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life"? EXACTLY. I LOVE my job.
There was something else I felt inclined to post, but it has completely slipped my mind... let's see, hair got permed... I'm getting it under control... OH!
Leetle Seester went to school! I miss her hardcore. ...Sniffle...
My dear Dollface has moved back upstate to be with her family, and we've acquired another roommate in her stead, and are expecting another soon. The new additions are The Artist and The Dancer. I think we'll get along fine.
Princess and Ravenhaired Beauty are sharing a room, and I will be sharing with The Artist and The Dancer. The Artist has just bought a bunkbed which she and I will share (I HAVE BOTTOM!) and The Dancer will use my old bed.
Edward Cullen and I seem to be okay. I'm just a lot more demanding that I thought I was. Oh well, I am, after all, Goddess Divine. I require attention.
School has been extremely frustating. For reasons unexplained, my class has not been allowed to train with the 2nd Wheel (200 level) students. However, the 1st Wheel EVENING students were still allowed to train. Which is a load of bullhonkey -- we're going to the SAME school, pay the SAME tuition. Why can't we have the SAME education? Load of CRAP. Sitting around watching National Geo is NOT my idea of secondary education. However, Apollo College does. I WILL be ranting about this in my student survey. For a good long time.
Because of that MONTH-LONG period of not being allowed to train, my teacher got another job and left. >:| When the school is being so stupid that the TEACHER leaves, what do you think the students are thinking? I was seriously upset. I, myself, was not caring at all anymore. It became a crap class; no point in even trying because not even the administration cares.
I have a new teacher now, and miraculously, we're allowed to workout again. I'm SO GLAD to be allowed back in the gym. I don't know what happened that made it so we couldn't train with Teacher1, but now that Teacher2 is here, we can finally get a move on. But don't think I still won't have a thing or two (or 7 billion) to say in my student survey.
I work at Massage Envy. I absolutely love it. Every job has its ups and downs, but I'm rather keen on this one. I would like to get another job at Riverpoint Sports & Wellness, and work there on my Envy days off. I'm decently busy at Envy; I work 4 days a week, a six-hour shift. I usually wind up with 4 clients, which is pretty sweet. And if they tip on their credit cards, I get a pretty sweet paycheck, which I'm REALLY looking forward to this Friday (for a multitude of reasons, but I'm excited to see my overall payout). The bummer is that I'm only paid $15 for an hour's massage, but at the same time, I have everything provided FOR me: table, sheets, laundry, creams, gels, oils, music, location, clients. If I were to be doing this all on my own, even though I'd earn more per massage, I'd have to deduct all my business expenses from that number, so when it all boils down, I'm happy with the $15 -- for now. ;)
I have repeat clients! I've only been there three weeks and I already have a following. It's so exciting. I really like what I do. I have people lying on my table and in the middle of the massage, I get this surge of gratitute for my job, and think, "wow, I am actually being PAID to do this." Ever hear that saying, "Get a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life"? EXACTLY. I LOVE my job.
There was something else I felt inclined to post, but it has completely slipped my mind... let's see, hair got permed... I'm getting it under control... OH!
Leetle Seester went to school! I miss her hardcore. ...Sniffle...
7.02.2009
Disappointment of the Relieved Nature
Right after I finished my clinic duty at school, I had a meeting with Career Services and they had sent out my resume to various massage businesses. So they said. I only got a call from one business, who I will decline to name, but I'll just call it Spice Girl Mobile Massage (as the actual first name is that of one of the aforementioned group members). So I get a call from Michael at Spice's saying he's interested in hiring, so we go through the whole application process and have an interview and whatnot.
Let me explain the nature of Mobile Massage. Someone calls this phone number and then a massage therapist is sent to their home. That is what I would do, I'd be given an address and then I'd go work on a client in their home. Absolutely no problem with that. However, I later learned that the majority of the clients were male. That was a little unnerving (honestly, how many guys actually are into the idea of massage? that's kinda girly).
Anyhow, I'm told that I'll be given a schedule Monday. Thursday comes and I still don't have it. I emailed saying as much and requested it be resent. Friday I checked and it's still not there. I went to work that evening at Hollywood and didn't worry about it.
Later that evening I get a call from Michael saying he has a client for me. There were three problems with this: 1- he called at 7:15 and I'd written on the application that I wasn't available after 6; 2- he called June 26th and I put on the application that I couldn't start until July 1st (because I needed to know what was going on with my license); 3- he tried to give me a client and I DON'T HAVE A LICENSE. That is ILLEGAL. Just sayin'.
I point out the part where I'm working that night and that I couldn't work until July 1st anyway and then Michael starts yelling at me about how I didn't say anything about that. I told him it was on the application. He again yelled at me that "after all the time we talked on the phone, emailed, and face to face, you never said ANYTHING about starting july 1st!"
"...Right," I agreed, "because it was on the application!" Yeah, that thing I had to fill out in order to WORK for you? Yeah, I filled it out. And that was one of the questions. Of course I didn't bring it up -- YOU ASKED FIRST! I figured you'd read the document YOU made me fill out! Foolishness, I know. Sorry.
"Well, you do what you need to do at the video store," like keep my job by not walking out? "and this massage will go to Spice. Good luck with your career." And he hung up on me.
Hahahahahahahahaha. I can laugh about it now, but I was really disappointed over what happened. But honestly, if that's his brand of professionalism, I'm glad I'm not ranked with it. If this is how the company is run, I'm glad I'm not a part of it.
So... no going to the homes of strange men to work on their naked bodies after all. Eh, no skin off my nose.
Let me explain the nature of Mobile Massage. Someone calls this phone number and then a massage therapist is sent to their home. That is what I would do, I'd be given an address and then I'd go work on a client in their home. Absolutely no problem with that. However, I later learned that the majority of the clients were male. That was a little unnerving (honestly, how many guys actually are into the idea of massage? that's kinda girly).
Anyhow, I'm told that I'll be given a schedule Monday. Thursday comes and I still don't have it. I emailed saying as much and requested it be resent. Friday I checked and it's still not there. I went to work that evening at Hollywood and didn't worry about it.
Later that evening I get a call from Michael saying he has a client for me. There were three problems with this: 1- he called at 7:15 and I'd written on the application that I wasn't available after 6; 2- he called June 26th and I put on the application that I couldn't start until July 1st (because I needed to know what was going on with my license); 3- he tried to give me a client and I DON'T HAVE A LICENSE. That is ILLEGAL. Just sayin'.
I point out the part where I'm working that night and that I couldn't work until July 1st anyway and then Michael starts yelling at me about how I didn't say anything about that. I told him it was on the application. He again yelled at me that "after all the time we talked on the phone, emailed, and face to face, you never said ANYTHING about starting july 1st!"
"...Right," I agreed, "because it was on the application!" Yeah, that thing I had to fill out in order to WORK for you? Yeah, I filled it out. And that was one of the questions. Of course I didn't bring it up -- YOU ASKED FIRST! I figured you'd read the document YOU made me fill out! Foolishness, I know. Sorry.
"Well, you do what you need to do at the video store," like keep my job by not walking out? "and this massage will go to Spice. Good luck with your career." And he hung up on me.
Hahahahahahahahaha. I can laugh about it now, but I was really disappointed over what happened. But honestly, if that's his brand of professionalism, I'm glad I'm not ranked with it. If this is how the company is run, I'm glad I'm not a part of it.
So... no going to the homes of strange men to work on their naked bodies after all. Eh, no skin off my nose.
6.29.2009
Right
I'm taking a fitness class now so I can be a certified Personal Trainer [Fitness Technician]. And the way class goes is the first three hours are lecture and the last hour is having my butt kicked by the 200 level.
This is going to rock.
This is going to rock.
6.16.2009
Just in Case You Were Wondering
All is well.
I got paperwork to fill out and then mi madre and I will be going back to school to get me enrolled in Fitness Training. You know what? It sounds way lame when I say I'm going into the Fitness Training class to become a Personal Trainer. That's too many trains on that sentence-plane. (Snakes too, for that matter. ...What?) Anyhow, the class was ORIGINALLY called Fitness Tech, and I was too cool for that, so I'd shortened it to FitTech, which I will again do here because this is my little corner of the world, and I can do what I want. So there.
The head of the Fit department told me my first class would be June 26, but my admissions rep said July-ish or August. I guess my meeting on Thursday will clear that up. I'm pretty dang excited to start. I'm kinda bored with the whole fat thing now. It all started when I was working at that blasted call center and then bad situations happened and all the stress and drama and emo crap happened and there's my excuse, whatever. I'm over it. I'm pretty thrilled for this class. Even if I don't actually become a licensed personal trainer, taking a class on fitness is too much effort to let that sort of education go to waste. That'd be like studying music for years to never look at music again. What a dumb thing to get into debt for.
Things with Edward Cullen are pretty great. We hit one month last week and played lazer tag with his brother and my sister. Good fun. And I'm the master. Hardcore.
Leetle Seester and I went to Elephant Butte with all the other LDS YSAs for our 8-stake activity. We didn't really hang out with too many people, mostly because I'm pretty antisocial and she doesn't know anyone in the branch too well. There was a really neat fireside on church history, mostly on the Mormon Battalion and the trek west. President Payne told us the route pioneers took through New Mexico and it turns out that the major Stake Centers are built YARDS away from the trail the early saints took.
I really felt this surge of emotion; in my mind's eye I saw families with their handcarts and wagons, tired and hungry. And through the dust of the trails they took, I could imagine in misty light the churches built up alongside them. I can't really describe it in a way to portray the emotion I feel, just know that I was really moved by that part of the fireside.
Saturday came, blah blah blah... Everyone was playing in the water at the Butte and riding in boats and playing with inner tubes and whatnot. Leetle Seester and I ditched and ended up going swimming at my apartment and just having a nice chill day. I really enjoy spending time with her. She's great. I'm gonna miss her when she goes to State in the fall. :'(
So last week wasn't particularly bad at all, nothing horrendous happened, but it just felt sucktastic since Tuesday and I just could not figure it out. It felt like this band of negativity was wrapped around my chest, pulling me in on myself and no matter how great things really were - I knew they were - it was dark and negative and angry. It felt like this force was pushing me into some deep chasm of hostility, which I took out on pretty much everyone and I could not understand what it was coming from. I suddenly felt I wasn't able to handle things anymore. I was lethargic and unwilling to do things. I was lazy, I didn't want to move or eat right or do anything except grump around. And no, before you jump on your hormonal assumption horse and ride off on that idea, it wasn't that. I was confused, because this sort of unwarranted ANGER is not characteristic of me. I took it out on Edward Cullen especially and the poor guy really did nothing to deserve it and I'm very sorry it happened. It really felt like I had no control over my emotions or reactions at all.
I began to seriously worry that maybe I was become unbalanced and that perhaps the chemical in my brain were so off that I was feeling the small tremors that would eventually play out to be manic depression or bi-polar disorder - especially because I COULD NOT control my anger. I was getting kinda worried. It came to a head Saturday night and nothing could make me feel better.
On Sunday, I was pulled into a room at church by a high council member and informed that both my mother and I had been released from our Seminary callings. They appreciated my willingness to jump in at the end of the year and go with it, but they released my mom, and then thought it best I was released as well. I was told that this decision had been made on Tuesday.
Isn't that interesting?
I know in my setting apart I'd been blessed with quite a few things, and some of those things included calmness and the ability to manage time and whatnot. After I was set apart, I could handle anything. Anything. The world was awesome, everything was going SO WELL. Now that I'm released, it's not like Heavenly Father doesn't want me to still have those blessings, He does, it's just I don't have them in the capacity I once did. As far as the High Council and Heavenly Father were concerned, my calling ended on Tuesday night and my blessings were... diffused, I guess you could say. I felt it.
Isn't that interesting?
I felt it leave me. The week SUCKED and I couldn't figure out why. When I found out I was released, everything made sense. Ah.
Isn't that interesting?
I got paperwork to fill out and then mi madre and I will be going back to school to get me enrolled in Fitness Training. You know what? It sounds way lame when I say I'm going into the Fitness Training class to become a Personal Trainer. That's too many trains on that sentence-plane. (Snakes too, for that matter. ...What?) Anyhow, the class was ORIGINALLY called Fitness Tech, and I was too cool for that, so I'd shortened it to FitTech, which I will again do here because this is my little corner of the world, and I can do what I want. So there.
The head of the Fit department told me my first class would be June 26, but my admissions rep said July-ish or August. I guess my meeting on Thursday will clear that up. I'm pretty dang excited to start. I'm kinda bored with the whole fat thing now. It all started when I was working at that blasted call center and then bad situations happened and all the stress and drama and emo crap happened and there's my excuse, whatever. I'm over it. I'm pretty thrilled for this class. Even if I don't actually become a licensed personal trainer, taking a class on fitness is too much effort to let that sort of education go to waste. That'd be like studying music for years to never look at music again. What a dumb thing to get into debt for.
Things with Edward Cullen are pretty great. We hit one month last week and played lazer tag with his brother and my sister. Good fun. And I'm the master. Hardcore.
Leetle Seester and I went to Elephant Butte with all the other LDS YSAs for our 8-stake activity. We didn't really hang out with too many people, mostly because I'm pretty antisocial and she doesn't know anyone in the branch too well. There was a really neat fireside on church history, mostly on the Mormon Battalion and the trek west. President Payne told us the route pioneers took through New Mexico and it turns out that the major Stake Centers are built YARDS away from the trail the early saints took.
I really felt this surge of emotion; in my mind's eye I saw families with their handcarts and wagons, tired and hungry. And through the dust of the trails they took, I could imagine in misty light the churches built up alongside them. I can't really describe it in a way to portray the emotion I feel, just know that I was really moved by that part of the fireside.
Saturday came, blah blah blah... Everyone was playing in the water at the Butte and riding in boats and playing with inner tubes and whatnot. Leetle Seester and I ditched and ended up going swimming at my apartment and just having a nice chill day. I really enjoy spending time with her. She's great. I'm gonna miss her when she goes to State in the fall. :'(
So last week wasn't particularly bad at all, nothing horrendous happened, but it just felt sucktastic since Tuesday and I just could not figure it out. It felt like this band of negativity was wrapped around my chest, pulling me in on myself and no matter how great things really were - I knew they were - it was dark and negative and angry. It felt like this force was pushing me into some deep chasm of hostility, which I took out on pretty much everyone and I could not understand what it was coming from. I suddenly felt I wasn't able to handle things anymore. I was lethargic and unwilling to do things. I was lazy, I didn't want to move or eat right or do anything except grump around. And no, before you jump on your hormonal assumption horse and ride off on that idea, it wasn't that. I was confused, because this sort of unwarranted ANGER is not characteristic of me. I took it out on Edward Cullen especially and the poor guy really did nothing to deserve it and I'm very sorry it happened. It really felt like I had no control over my emotions or reactions at all.
I began to seriously worry that maybe I was become unbalanced and that perhaps the chemical in my brain were so off that I was feeling the small tremors that would eventually play out to be manic depression or bi-polar disorder - especially because I COULD NOT control my anger. I was getting kinda worried. It came to a head Saturday night and nothing could make me feel better.
On Sunday, I was pulled into a room at church by a high council member and informed that both my mother and I had been released from our Seminary callings. They appreciated my willingness to jump in at the end of the year and go with it, but they released my mom, and then thought it best I was released as well. I was told that this decision had been made on Tuesday.
Isn't that interesting?
I know in my setting apart I'd been blessed with quite a few things, and some of those things included calmness and the ability to manage time and whatnot. After I was set apart, I could handle anything. Anything. The world was awesome, everything was going SO WELL. Now that I'm released, it's not like Heavenly Father doesn't want me to still have those blessings, He does, it's just I don't have them in the capacity I once did. As far as the High Council and Heavenly Father were concerned, my calling ended on Tuesday night and my blessings were... diffused, I guess you could say. I felt it.
Isn't that interesting?
I felt it leave me. The week SUCKED and I couldn't figure out why. When I found out I was released, everything made sense. Ah.
Isn't that interesting?
6.10.2009
DONE!
That's right folks. I'm done with school.
For now.
All my paper work is done. I'm just awaiting my temporary license to come my way. Then I've a couple tests to take for my National Certification, and it's there. My career is waving at me to come on over.
Yay life. For reals.
For now.
All my paper work is done. I'm just awaiting my temporary license to come my way. Then I've a couple tests to take for my National Certification, and it's there. My career is waving at me to come on over.
Yay life. For reals.
6.04.2009
Just Checking In
All's well in the world. Princess is in the process of moving in. Her stuff is in the apartment, at least. Haven't seen much of her, though. Odd.
By the way, Pink Eye is one of the most disgusting infections in the world, in case you weren't previously aware. The way you get PE is if, by some weird turn of events, you get fecal matter in your eye. Gross, right?
The worst part is that I know that I know I wash my hands, which means that the POOP that I got in my eye the other day IS NOT MINE. ::shudder::
That's right, I have/had PE. I wasn't allowed to come to school on Monday and Tuesday because of it and Wednesday I wasn't allowed to work on anyone because I was still "diseased." But, since my eye whites are white now, I'm allowed to touch people again. Anyhow, because of this little ocular crisis, my last day of school went from being TOMORROW to being Monday next, so long as I put in 7 hours. Blah. Oh well, gotta do whatcha gotta do, eh?
But back to my infection!
I wash my hands ALL THE TIME at school, so I know I didn't get it there. This means the only other place I could have received this nice little gift is from work. Want to know why that's more gross than your average gross-icity? Because it's RETAIL! I rent out videos to people, take their videos back, check them in, and put them away. This whole little scenario means that there are POOPY movies circulating around my store.
Did that not make you throw up a little?
So... don't be like me. Don't touch your eyes.
And I'm gonna brag on my BF now, because I can. Because this is my blog. And I will write about what I WANT to write about. So there. FYI, he will not be referred to as J anymore, but as Edward Cullen (EC, if I'm lazy). Just to clarify.
One of my clinic mates was teasing me about my guy and comparing him to THE Edward Cullen and said, "He wrote Bella a lullabye. Where's yours?" So that evening I hung out with him and was laughing about that, asking where, if he really is my Edward, is my lullabye. He told me to follow him and he led me to the computer and showed me that he'd actually been working on it. [This is where my friends squealed in my storytelling.] Alas, the work had been saved over by another tune and was lost so he had to start over, but this is still another example of how my guy is the best one.
Just throwing that out there. ^_^
By the way, Pink Eye is one of the most disgusting infections in the world, in case you weren't previously aware. The way you get PE is if, by some weird turn of events, you get fecal matter in your eye. Gross, right?
The worst part is that I know that I know I wash my hands, which means that the POOP that I got in my eye the other day IS NOT MINE. ::shudder::
That's right, I have/had PE. I wasn't allowed to come to school on Monday and Tuesday because of it and Wednesday I wasn't allowed to work on anyone because I was still "diseased." But, since my eye whites are white now, I'm allowed to touch people again. Anyhow, because of this little ocular crisis, my last day of school went from being TOMORROW to being Monday next, so long as I put in 7 hours. Blah. Oh well, gotta do whatcha gotta do, eh?
But back to my infection!
I wash my hands ALL THE TIME at school, so I know I didn't get it there. This means the only other place I could have received this nice little gift is from work. Want to know why that's more gross than your average gross-icity? Because it's RETAIL! I rent out videos to people, take their videos back, check them in, and put them away. This whole little scenario means that there are POOPY movies circulating around my store.
Did that not make you throw up a little?
So... don't be like me. Don't touch your eyes.
And I'm gonna brag on my BF now, because I can. Because this is my blog. And I will write about what I WANT to write about. So there. FYI, he will not be referred to as J anymore, but as Edward Cullen (EC, if I'm lazy). Just to clarify.
One of my clinic mates was teasing me about my guy and comparing him to THE Edward Cullen and said, "He wrote Bella a lullabye. Where's yours?" So that evening I hung out with him and was laughing about that, asking where, if he really is my Edward, is my lullabye. He told me to follow him and he led me to the computer and showed me that he'd actually been working on it. [This is where my friends squealed in my storytelling.] Alas, the work had been saved over by another tune and was lost so he had to start over, but this is still another example of how my guy is the best one.
Just throwing that out there. ^_^
5.29.2009
Just When We Thought The Drama Was Over
Good news first: I only have one week of my clinic-internship left. Next week I will also talk to admissions about joining the Fitness Training class so, in addition to being a licensed massage therapist, next year I'll be a licensed personal trainer. Yay life. And then I can be the super hawt tigress of a girlfriend my boyfriend deserves.
Speaking of boyfriends! I have one. And he's absolutely amazing. It's hard to describe him because there's just so many wonderful facets about him, so I'm just going to fall back on what I told my little sister: I avoided Mr. Darcy, sought out Colonel Brandon, and somehow ended up with Edward Cullen.
Yes, ladies, I am dating Edward Cullen. He is perfect. And I'll probably be rubbing it in a whole lot in the future. Because I can.
D'you remember all that high-school drama in March with T and M? And do you remember that blip about a guy vaguely referred to as J that I fake hit on and T pulled me aside and told me to never talk to him like that again? D'you remember that? Okay, because that's my guy. And before you try to call me out on not dating guys my friends like, let me first point out that T is NOT my friend and that J chose me. So there.
What else... Ah, yes. Roommmate Dee is now in the MTC. I miss her a ton. I might be in charge of updating her blog for her while she's out. We'll see how that goes. But I do really miss her. Having a room to myself is both exciting and lonely. I like it and I don't.
We should be getting a new roommate in the future, whom I'll refer to as Princess. Raven-haired Beauty is still with me and DollFace is planning on moving back with her folks in the next couple of months. [sigh] There's just so many changes happening.
My Leetle Seester graduated high school! She turns 18 tomorrow. She's chosen to go into nursing at NMSU (GO AGGIES!) and is still amazing. Like she could be anything but. Honestly.
Brothers are fine. The Hero is still training and the Beast is wrestling. Parents are fine. Dogs are fine. They got a cat, Khiti, who hates everyone.
Right, so Khiti was feral. Lived in a bush near my parents house. Leetle Seester coaxed her into being comfortable coming into and out of the house and eating and stuff and then Khiti decided she'd rather live there than with her brothers in a bush. So she did. For weeks she never left the house. She was so skinny and weak and sad. But she loved EVERYONE. Always purring, alway rubbing against people, loving attention. Then she was fed and received veterinary attention and she seems to think that she owns the place and hates everyone. She's no longer grateful. What a pain in the rump, this cat. Seriously. I've NEVER met a cat I didn't like. Until this one.
Let's see... what else. Oh, car got broken into. Laptop and digicam were stolen. I'll get the window fixed after I'm done with school. The Beast punched -PUNCHED- his laptop screen and the deal is that I pay to fix it, I get to keep it. So I'm doing that. ...Mmmm, rumor is I'm a shift leader at Hollywood Video now, except for the minor detail that my security codes don't work, I don't have keys and... oh yeah, I HAVEN'T BEEN TRAINED. Oh well. I'm scheduled to be a shift lead tonight, and I'm amused-ly curious as to how Robert expects it to play out. Seeing as how I've not been shown how to do anything except count the drawers and deposits but once. Oh dear. Oh well.
Hmmmm... yeah, that's about it for now.
Speaking of boyfriends! I have one. And he's absolutely amazing. It's hard to describe him because there's just so many wonderful facets about him, so I'm just going to fall back on what I told my little sister: I avoided Mr. Darcy, sought out Colonel Brandon, and somehow ended up with Edward Cullen.
Yes, ladies, I am dating Edward Cullen. He is perfect. And I'll probably be rubbing it in a whole lot in the future. Because I can.
D'you remember all that high-school drama in March with T and M? And do you remember that blip about a guy vaguely referred to as J that I fake hit on and T pulled me aside and told me to never talk to him like that again? D'you remember that? Okay, because that's my guy. And before you try to call me out on not dating guys my friends like, let me first point out that T is NOT my friend and that J chose me. So there.
What else... Ah, yes. Roommmate Dee is now in the MTC. I miss her a ton. I might be in charge of updating her blog for her while she's out. We'll see how that goes. But I do really miss her. Having a room to myself is both exciting and lonely. I like it and I don't.
We should be getting a new roommate in the future, whom I'll refer to as Princess. Raven-haired Beauty is still with me and DollFace is planning on moving back with her folks in the next couple of months. [sigh] There's just so many changes happening.
My Leetle Seester graduated high school! She turns 18 tomorrow. She's chosen to go into nursing at NMSU (GO AGGIES!) and is still amazing. Like she could be anything but. Honestly.
Brothers are fine. The Hero is still training and the Beast is wrestling. Parents are fine. Dogs are fine. They got a cat, Khiti, who hates everyone.
Right, so Khiti was feral. Lived in a bush near my parents house. Leetle Seester coaxed her into being comfortable coming into and out of the house and eating and stuff and then Khiti decided she'd rather live there than with her brothers in a bush. So she did. For weeks she never left the house. She was so skinny and weak and sad. But she loved EVERYONE. Always purring, alway rubbing against people, loving attention. Then she was fed and received veterinary attention and she seems to think that she owns the place and hates everyone. She's no longer grateful. What a pain in the rump, this cat. Seriously. I've NEVER met a cat I didn't like. Until this one.
Let's see... what else. Oh, car got broken into. Laptop and digicam were stolen. I'll get the window fixed after I'm done with school. The Beast punched -PUNCHED- his laptop screen and the deal is that I pay to fix it, I get to keep it. So I'm doing that. ...Mmmm, rumor is I'm a shift leader at Hollywood Video now, except for the minor detail that my security codes don't work, I don't have keys and... oh yeah, I HAVEN'T BEEN TRAINED. Oh well. I'm scheduled to be a shift lead tonight, and I'm amused-ly curious as to how Robert expects it to play out. Seeing as how I've not been shown how to do anything except count the drawers and deposits but once. Oh dear. Oh well.
Hmmmm... yeah, that's about it for now.
4.29.2009
school, junk, and giraffes
School is almost done! This is pretty exciting news, as I've only been in school for the past 11 months and I'm ready to move on. This Thursday will be the end of my last class, Anatomy & Physiology IV, and then next Monday begins my start in the clinic. I'll actually finish Clinic just a bit earlier than scheduled because I will be doing 19 hours a week instead of the standard 18. Not much faster, but enough to make me feel like I'm moving on. The schedule I'll have is pretty sweet; Monday-Wednesday 1-6 PM and Thursdays from 5-9. This way evenings are free, which is awesome, but really means that I'll probably be hanging out at Hollywood Video, working (or whatever they call it).
Come next Monday I'll rejoin the ranks of the Albuquerque Concert Band. I haven't played my horn in SO LONG. I'll sound really bad, but at least I'll be playing again, right? Sure. Because that'll make it all better.
Seminary has been going well, I think. But then, I'm pretty much a lurker. All I've really done is run Scripture Mastery on Wednesdays, but tomorrow I'm actually teaching a lesson. That's a little unnerving, but I think it'll go okay. I hope.
The past couple weeks I've been doing SM, I've learned that the students know the verses really well, but they don't really associate the reference with the content. To remedy this, I wrote out each SM on sketch paper and, for a few of them, drew a picture using the numbers of the reference which reflected the verse. John 3:5 is about baptism, so I wrote out "3+5" really big, because when added, it equals 8, which is the age of baptism. Get it? Hebrews 5:4, just count it down: 54321, because 321 is 123 backwards, which is the age at which Aaron, the Hebrew died, and the whole verse is about the Priesthood, specifically mentioning the Aaronic Priesthood. Ah? See?
I left most of the verses blank and passed them out and had the students draw their own associative pictures. It was pretty awesome. One student thought he couldn't come up with anything, so he drew a giraffe. I said that was fine, as long as he could somehow make the giraffe tie into the verse. The giraffe is named Corinthian. And his neck makes a big 1. He has 15 big spots on his body, a colon at his collar bone, and 29 small spots on his neck. And he was blue, so he was dead, but he was happy, because he'd been baptized. What is the verse? 1 Corinthians 15:29 Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?
I will never look at a giraffe the same again. Today went well.
Come next Monday I'll rejoin the ranks of the Albuquerque Concert Band. I haven't played my horn in SO LONG. I'll sound really bad, but at least I'll be playing again, right? Sure. Because that'll make it all better.
Seminary has been going well, I think. But then, I'm pretty much a lurker. All I've really done is run Scripture Mastery on Wednesdays, but tomorrow I'm actually teaching a lesson. That's a little unnerving, but I think it'll go okay. I hope.
The past couple weeks I've been doing SM, I've learned that the students know the verses really well, but they don't really associate the reference with the content. To remedy this, I wrote out each SM on sketch paper and, for a few of them, drew a picture using the numbers of the reference which reflected the verse. John 3:5 is about baptism, so I wrote out "3+5" really big, because when added, it equals 8, which is the age of baptism. Get it? Hebrews 5:4, just count it down: 54321, because 321 is 123 backwards, which is the age at which Aaron, the Hebrew died, and the whole verse is about the Priesthood, specifically mentioning the Aaronic Priesthood. Ah? See?
I left most of the verses blank and passed them out and had the students draw their own associative pictures. It was pretty awesome. One student thought he couldn't come up with anything, so he drew a giraffe. I said that was fine, as long as he could somehow make the giraffe tie into the verse. The giraffe is named Corinthian. And his neck makes a big 1. He has 15 big spots on his body, a colon at his collar bone, and 29 small spots on his neck. And he was blue, so he was dead, but he was happy, because he'd been baptized. What is the verse? 1 Corinthians 15:29 Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?
I will never look at a giraffe the same again. Today went well.
4.05.2009
I <3 General Conference
I'm not even joking. I love it. For 8 hours in one weekend I actually feel like I can do better. It'll wear off by October, but until then. I love it. And President Uchtdorf is my absolute favorite.
I love to see the love everyone has for President Monson.
Yes, I love conference.
I love to see the love everyone has for President Monson.
Yes, I love conference.
4.02.2009
Tired of being nice.
Incoming text from a number I don't know: Are you mad at me or what?
L: I have no idea who this is.
ITFANIDK: T
L: Mmmm, the world would be a much better place if you would just leave me alone. Please don't text me again.
T: Okay, just wanted to know what's up.
Woohoo! All ties are severed! Things are going great.
But seriously, what part of "don't text me again" invites a reply?
L: I have no idea who this is.
ITFANIDK: T
L: Mmmm, the world would be a much better place if you would just leave me alone. Please don't text me again.
T: Okay, just wanted to know what's up.
Woohoo! All ties are severed! Things are going great.
But seriously, what part of "don't text me again" invites a reply?
3.31.2009
Anger. The blood-boiling kind.
I know scum when I see it, and I've been seeing a lot of it. What angers me is that I warn people and point out to them how they're being manipulated, or where I feel they're in danger, and they reply with "Well, it's my choice to make."
Yeah, it's your &^*&^%^&% retarded effing choice to make. I'm well aware of your free agency. Well done, go ahead and make your stupid choice. HE'S A DIRTY LOWLIFE, but have fun. I'm done with it.
My anger has turned to disgust. Disgust of the violent nature. I haven't been this hot with anger in YEARS. This is eye-clawing, face-smashing, tire-slashing anger.
Repetitive stupidity irritates me the most. I'm REALLY irritated now.
You know, as much pain and anger as I went through with the Jew, I'm actually glad now for the experience. While it taught me to not trust people up front like I used to, it taught me to identity manipulations better and sooner.
You know how it goes, play with matches and you get a little singed, you're still okay; play with matches and you burn the house down, you fear a candle. Exact same thing here. Because what I went through was so painful in so many different ways, I can identify deceit early, from many different angles. And not only that, but since I know, I avoid it and want nothing to do with it.
Looks like I'm only saving myself here, because everyone else wants to make their own freaking decision with this scumbag, rather than rest in the safety of another's experience.
Fine.
The following story is not THE cause of the aforementioned anger, but it contributes.
When I met M a while back, he learned that I do massage. He asked me if I know anyone that does Manual Lymph Drainage massage. I told him I don't, but wouldn't you know- I learned how to do it not even a week before! So, I let him know that if he really needed the work done and couldn't find anyone, then I would be willing to work with him, but if it doesn't go the way he wanted it to, he can't sue me because I warned him that I'm not certified. That's fine, he says, we'll see.
At the BtF before crazy suicidal Monday with T, Travis had told me that he wanted to set up a massage appointment with me (redeeming his Christmas present coupon). M was nearby, as you may recall, and said he wanted one, too. That's okay, we'll get working on that.
After everything exploded, I wasn't sure if M still wanted me to work on him or not. I understood completely if he didn't want ME to work on him; if he wanted a massage, just not from me, then I have a whole bunch of friends I could refer him to. So I texted him later in the week asking if he still wanted the massage and he said yes. I ask if he wants it at my place or his, because either way we'll need privacy. When he asked why, I tried to explain that massage is typically done on a disrobed client, draped with a sheet. (I need access, people. Geez.) That seemed to have thrown him off a bit, so I had Dee explain it to him, because she's been under my hands before.
But seriously. Anyone who's ever wated a James Bond movie figures that massages are done naked with a towel over your butt. Bruce Almighty? Yeah, those ladies were naked under a sheet while getting worked on. Pheobe from friends? Did you not notice the clients were naked?
Anyhow, I can still understand where that would be unnerving to anyone who's never had a Swedish massage before. However, this is what I'm in school FOR, so just trust me, would you?
Well, we never get around to making the appointment because I quickly become disenchanted with the guy.
JB and I were chatting a couple weeks ago and we're exchanging information, clarifying stories he'd told and altered among different people. Trying to pull the truth out of it all, and she says, "So M said you offered him a SWEDISH massage. You know, the NAKED one."
WHAT?!
That made me mad on a professional and personal level.
Professionally: I would NEVER use massage the way it was implied. I may joke about it, but I never did with him. That sort of joking is reserved for close friends and my classmates. BUT DESPITE THAT. What I do is completely professional and it's disgusting what was insinuated with that. My license is not worth that, least of all a tryst with HIM. Orlando Bloom, maybe. Him? Definitely not.
Personally: I never offered him a Swedish Massage. MLD, kinda sorta, with the fine print at the end of "oh and you can't sue me because I'm not certified" which kinda kills the whole "offer" thing. I never offer a full body massage. I serioiusly wait for people to dance around asking for one; I want a massage to be their idea, not my offer. Unless it's family or a friend in pain. Which is a different story. ANYHOW.
He ASKED for the massage and I only clarified what he'd asked for. He wanted the massage my brother was getting -- and that's what it was!
And when I have a disrobed client, it's not like, "ooh baby, let me get my hands on your body." HECK NO. It's the only way to get anything done! So when people are naked, it's not a big deal to me. So to imply that I would use it for anything other than its real purpose is insulting and disgusting. Sure, it might be a little weird for you at first, but in a PROFESSIONAL SETTING (which it always is) there isn't a problem! My freaking goodness.
How DARE he imply that? How dare he insinuate that my motives were of that nature. MOTIVES THAT WEREN'T EVEN THERE BECAUSE I DIDN'T EVEN OFFER HIM THAT MODALITY!
Angry, angry, angry.
Oh, he texted me Thursday night. I'd deleted his number long ago because I never use it, so it helped in a great conversation.
M: Boo.
L: Yikes. Who is this?
M: Who is this? Did you remove my number?
L: I seriously have no idea who this is.
M: This is M Letha.
L: Ohhh. Gotcha.
M: Did you delete my number?
L: Looks like I did.
M: :-( (M sad face) Why did you do that?
L: Mostly because we don't associate with each other and I don't trust you.
M: Well you're always at school and if you don't want to associate with me just say so and I'll leave you alone.
L: I said before that if you want help with church stuff, I'll be there. As for friends, or anything of that nature, no thank you.
M: Well still. Sorry to have bothered talking. Have a nice day.
L: You too.
Let's break this down a bit.
When I explained why I deleted his number, the real problem wasn't the time spent with each other, but the lack of trust. There are plenty of people in my phone book that I don't see all the time and yet are still in there. (Tony? I love you. Ashleigh? Hey girl.) So it wasn't the time spent together that I was criticizing, but his character, which was really at fault. And rather than ask why I don't trust him, he immediately (and I mean immediately) threw it on my being at school all the time. (I'm NOT at school all the time. There's 20 hours a day where I'm not at school. Just sayin'.) I find it interesting that, rather than defend his character, he attacks my schedule. Yeah, because my education is getting in the way of this stellar relationship.
He then told me to just tell him if I didn't want to associate with him. I'm sorry, I would have thought that if you can imply something dirty with Swedish Massage, then you would have caught the implied "leave me the hell alone" with "I don't trust you." Oh well. Would you really think that someone would want to associate with you if they didn't trust you? No? Well then.
I have NO problem answering gospel questions. I love the gospel. I love the prophets and the church and the traditions and customs and everything that comes with it. Even the crazies I complain about. I have no qualms with talking to ANYONE about churchy stuff. If they want it, I'll give it. But that doesn't mean I have to be friends with them. I am allowed to not be friends with every freaking person that comes my way.
"Well still. Sorry to have bothered talking." Bothered? I'm sorry it was such a waste of your time to have to be told the truth. Bothered? Were you trying to accomplish something here? Fix a friendship? Sorry fool, but homie don't play that.
Now, I'm all for second chances, really I am. Heaven knows I need them. And I love people and I want them to be close to me and I want to love them and care about them and have a great unity between us all. If you say something dumb, that's fine. If you pull my hair, whatever. Steal my socks, just wash 'em before you give them back. But losing my trust? The paperwork you have to fill out is so long, and so full of fine print, and comes with a deadline and there are certian things that must be done a specific way and with a specific intent... It's so much work you might as well not even apply for it. Consider my trust lost the first time around. I don't trust him.
Bothered. Pft. It was more of waste of MY time than yours.
Yeah, it's your &^*&^%^&% retarded effing choice to make. I'm well aware of your free agency. Well done, go ahead and make your stupid choice. HE'S A DIRTY LOWLIFE, but have fun. I'm done with it.
My anger has turned to disgust. Disgust of the violent nature. I haven't been this hot with anger in YEARS. This is eye-clawing, face-smashing, tire-slashing anger.
Repetitive stupidity irritates me the most. I'm REALLY irritated now.
You know, as much pain and anger as I went through with the Jew, I'm actually glad now for the experience. While it taught me to not trust people up front like I used to, it taught me to identity manipulations better and sooner.
You know how it goes, play with matches and you get a little singed, you're still okay; play with matches and you burn the house down, you fear a candle. Exact same thing here. Because what I went through was so painful in so many different ways, I can identify deceit early, from many different angles. And not only that, but since I know, I avoid it and want nothing to do with it.
Looks like I'm only saving myself here, because everyone else wants to make their own freaking decision with this scumbag, rather than rest in the safety of another's experience.
Fine.
The following story is not THE cause of the aforementioned anger, but it contributes.
When I met M a while back, he learned that I do massage. He asked me if I know anyone that does Manual Lymph Drainage massage. I told him I don't, but wouldn't you know- I learned how to do it not even a week before! So, I let him know that if he really needed the work done and couldn't find anyone, then I would be willing to work with him, but if it doesn't go the way he wanted it to, he can't sue me because I warned him that I'm not certified. That's fine, he says, we'll see.
At the BtF before crazy suicidal Monday with T, Travis had told me that he wanted to set up a massage appointment with me (redeeming his Christmas present coupon). M was nearby, as you may recall, and said he wanted one, too. That's okay, we'll get working on that.
After everything exploded, I wasn't sure if M still wanted me to work on him or not. I understood completely if he didn't want ME to work on him; if he wanted a massage, just not from me, then I have a whole bunch of friends I could refer him to. So I texted him later in the week asking if he still wanted the massage and he said yes. I ask if he wants it at my place or his, because either way we'll need privacy. When he asked why, I tried to explain that massage is typically done on a disrobed client, draped with a sheet. (I need access, people. Geez.) That seemed to have thrown him off a bit, so I had Dee explain it to him, because she's been under my hands before.
But seriously. Anyone who's ever wated a James Bond movie figures that massages are done naked with a towel over your butt. Bruce Almighty? Yeah, those ladies were naked under a sheet while getting worked on. Pheobe from friends? Did you not notice the clients were naked?
Anyhow, I can still understand where that would be unnerving to anyone who's never had a Swedish massage before. However, this is what I'm in school FOR, so just trust me, would you?
Well, we never get around to making the appointment because I quickly become disenchanted with the guy.
JB and I were chatting a couple weeks ago and we're exchanging information, clarifying stories he'd told and altered among different people. Trying to pull the truth out of it all, and she says, "So M said you offered him a SWEDISH massage. You know, the NAKED one."
WHAT?!
That made me mad on a professional and personal level.
Professionally: I would NEVER use massage the way it was implied. I may joke about it, but I never did with him. That sort of joking is reserved for close friends and my classmates. BUT DESPITE THAT. What I do is completely professional and it's disgusting what was insinuated with that. My license is not worth that, least of all a tryst with HIM. Orlando Bloom, maybe. Him? Definitely not.
Personally: I never offered him a Swedish Massage. MLD, kinda sorta, with the fine print at the end of "oh and you can't sue me because I'm not certified" which kinda kills the whole "offer" thing. I never offer a full body massage. I serioiusly wait for people to dance around asking for one; I want a massage to be their idea, not my offer. Unless it's family or a friend in pain. Which is a different story. ANYHOW.
He ASKED for the massage and I only clarified what he'd asked for. He wanted the massage my brother was getting -- and that's what it was!
And when I have a disrobed client, it's not like, "ooh baby, let me get my hands on your body." HECK NO. It's the only way to get anything done! So when people are naked, it's not a big deal to me. So to imply that I would use it for anything other than its real purpose is insulting and disgusting. Sure, it might be a little weird for you at first, but in a PROFESSIONAL SETTING (which it always is) there isn't a problem! My freaking goodness.
How DARE he imply that? How dare he insinuate that my motives were of that nature. MOTIVES THAT WEREN'T EVEN THERE BECAUSE I DIDN'T EVEN OFFER HIM THAT MODALITY!
Angry, angry, angry.
Oh, he texted me Thursday night. I'd deleted his number long ago because I never use it, so it helped in a great conversation.
M: Boo.
L: Yikes. Who is this?
M: Who is this? Did you remove my number?
L: I seriously have no idea who this is.
M: This is M Letha.
L: Ohhh. Gotcha.
M: Did you delete my number?
L: Looks like I did.
M: :-( (M sad face) Why did you do that?
L: Mostly because we don't associate with each other and I don't trust you.
M: Well you're always at school and if you don't want to associate with me just say so and I'll leave you alone.
L: I said before that if you want help with church stuff, I'll be there. As for friends, or anything of that nature, no thank you.
M: Well still. Sorry to have bothered talking. Have a nice day.
L: You too.
Let's break this down a bit.
When I explained why I deleted his number, the real problem wasn't the time spent with each other, but the lack of trust. There are plenty of people in my phone book that I don't see all the time and yet are still in there. (Tony? I love you. Ashleigh? Hey girl.) So it wasn't the time spent together that I was criticizing, but his character, which was really at fault. And rather than ask why I don't trust him, he immediately (and I mean immediately) threw it on my being at school all the time. (I'm NOT at school all the time. There's 20 hours a day where I'm not at school. Just sayin'.) I find it interesting that, rather than defend his character, he attacks my schedule. Yeah, because my education is getting in the way of this stellar relationship.
He then told me to just tell him if I didn't want to associate with him. I'm sorry, I would have thought that if you can imply something dirty with Swedish Massage, then you would have caught the implied "leave me the hell alone" with "I don't trust you." Oh well. Would you really think that someone would want to associate with you if they didn't trust you? No? Well then.
I have NO problem answering gospel questions. I love the gospel. I love the prophets and the church and the traditions and customs and everything that comes with it. Even the crazies I complain about. I have no qualms with talking to ANYONE about churchy stuff. If they want it, I'll give it. But that doesn't mean I have to be friends with them. I am allowed to not be friends with every freaking person that comes my way.
"Well still. Sorry to have bothered talking." Bothered? I'm sorry it was such a waste of your time to have to be told the truth. Bothered? Were you trying to accomplish something here? Fix a friendship? Sorry fool, but homie don't play that.
Now, I'm all for second chances, really I am. Heaven knows I need them. And I love people and I want them to be close to me and I want to love them and care about them and have a great unity between us all. If you say something dumb, that's fine. If you pull my hair, whatever. Steal my socks, just wash 'em before you give them back. But losing my trust? The paperwork you have to fill out is so long, and so full of fine print, and comes with a deadline and there are certian things that must be done a specific way and with a specific intent... It's so much work you might as well not even apply for it. Consider my trust lost the first time around. I don't trust him.
Bothered. Pft. It was more of waste of MY time than yours.
3.14.2009
Isn't It Delicious?
So now T has told M that she doesn't want to date anyone, after all.
Nope, just flirt obnoxiously, make out with, go crazy on, and piss everyone else off with. Awesome.
Too funny.
"You're a jerk," I told him, "I wouldn't want to date you either."
Nope, just flirt obnoxiously, make out with, go crazy on, and piss everyone else off with. Awesome.
Too funny.
"You're a jerk," I told him, "I wouldn't want to date you either."
3.13.2009
High School drama is SO exhausting
So MONDAY! Monday was quite the adventure. One that I'd rather have not been subjected to, but hey, since I'm part of the cause of the whole mess.
The 3rd party narration will not continue here, though I must admit it was much easier to write that way. There's a whole lot of storytelling involved with Monday's predicament, but I'm actually pretty bored with it now, so just to end the story, here it goes.
Monday morning, M came and watched Phantom of the Opera with me and towards the end was complaining of knots in his back, so I began to try to work them out (after all, what else am I good for?) and he began to get somewhat cuddly with me again. (WTF) He leaves to go shopping while waiting for a meeting he had with Dee and Dollface before meeting with the Missionaries for a discussion, pizza, and then FHE. I'm getting ready for school while everyone is coming home and J even came. While they're waiting for M, Dee gets a call that he has T with him.
Loud groans issue forth from Dee and Dollface. I laugh and leave the room. I text M, "So how's your girlfriend?" (Because really, that's what she is now, right?) Instead of getting a reply from him, T actually texts me.
T: Why is everyone being so rediculiously [sic] stupid?
[The snob in me immediately pushed her down in the mud and skipped away. Dueling with an illiterate? Please.]
L: Because we all like to play along.
(ZING! Come on, you have to admit that was a good one.)
T: play along...
L: You got it, sugar.
T: with what....
I left that text unanswered because, honestly, if she doesn't get it by now, there's really no point. I'm still getting my stuff together for school when the apartment empties and RavenHaired One comes in looking upset. Somehow Dollface has upset her, hanging up on her and driving off without really explaining why. Upon pressing for details, it turns out that everyone drove off in a frenzy to go save T.
It seems that M had flipped out on her and she was freaking out and there was talk of a therapist (?!) and she was threatening suicide (?!?!?!) and M left her and now everyone had to go save her.
....WHAT?!
I call M and ask what's going on. After beating around the bush for far too long, he tells me that when he'd called, T asked why everyone was acting dumb and he, oh brilliant one he is, said, "Well, it's because they don't like you." IDIOT. BOKE. DUMMKOPF. BRUTE. AND IN ANY OTHER LANGUAGE YOU CARE TO SPEAK.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HER?!" I'm still in complete disbelief.
"Well, I'm not gonna lie to her," like that's a good excuse.
"NO! Don't lie to her," I really have to explain this? "Tell her you made plans with other people and you had to take her home!"
Which resulted in a lecture on respecting the plans you make and the people with which these plans are made. REALLY. Does one really have to explain that if you make plans with A and you know A dislikes B [immensely] that it's NOT the best idea to then invite B? Ugh... drama drama drama.
T gets saved by those who do not enjoy her company, which ended up in a new lecture to M, about the character of his friends, that not only were they still willing to go to this meeting despite their dislike for T, but NOW they're off SAVING HER. His friends really are a lot better than he gave them credit for. Geez.
Blah, blah, blah. I go to class and I hear from JB that FHE went over well, and that T was all over M like stink on poop. Again. Seems things got cleared up. Though I do vaguely recall M telling me that he can't deal with crazy girls, since all his exes were crazy and he just can handle any more crazy. (I would think that a girl talking of suicide because a few people don't like her is crazy, but that's just me, apparently.) "She can have him," I said to myself, "if he's idiot enough to take her like that, I'm over it. I find idiots so VERY unattractive and that's all he seems to be at this point."
I get home and talk to Dollface and Ravenhaired One about the situation and Ravenhaired One asks me why I care about M so much, he's a doushebag. True, I admit, he made some bad choices, but --- "Some bad choices?! He MADE OUT with T when they went bowling and then got snuggly with you on SUNDAY! He's trying to play you!"
Ah. Yes. Doushebag indeed. I can forgive that one may come from the society in which making out with multiple partners is acceptable (though I do not find it so) but I cannot fathom a society in which not only is that acceptable, but then to mock your smoochy-face partner later in the company of others! True, I never defended the girl (obviously) but if you're going to suck face with her, I'd at least expect YOU to!
Oh well. Glad that's over.
3.10.2009
Will the fun just NEVER END?! The JLMT adventure CONTINUES!
Mind you, this is JUST Sunday:
The church dance has ended, but we find that the drama has not. Despite warnings advising otherwise, M decided to spend Saturday with T, going shopping and then bowling later in the evening and into Sunday. Naturally, L is not okay with this. Not because she's jealous, no, no, no, but rather because she does not understand why people will not heed her when she truly has their best interest at heart. Never mind that M had been advised that T only pursued him after J had been jokingly approached and that M had acted offended at the news that T would be like that, still, he chose to take her out.
Sunday comes and M was to attend. The pew on which a seat is reserved is small, so a specific count is done to assure that he will sit there with those that "ought" to surround him. L sat with a space on her left, by the wall. On L's right side sat her roommate Dollface, who had a space reserved to her right for M, with the understanding that when he came, he was actually to sit between the two girls. Further down the bench was AJ and then Dee. This was all planned, of course, because they all wanted M to become better acquainted with L, since she is pretty much the most amazing girl on the planet.
Church starts, but M is late. The doors open, and a fellow squeezes between the wall and the pew to sit in the open space to L's left, leaving now only the open space to Dollface's right. Which is perfect, actually.
Sacrament has been passed and M is still not in the chapel. Dollface goes out into the foyer to find him and in comes T, and sits to L's left, taking Dollface's place and yet still leaving room for M. She leans to L and whispers that M doesn't want to come in late, when in walk M and Dollface and they sit in the pew just in front. (::smirk::)
T looks to L's left and notices Handsome Fellow and across her eyes dart a dark shadow of interest. She lowers her eyes to see that L is holding the hand of Handsome Fellow on her lap and stroking his hand. One could see the mischievous glee light her face as she realizes she's got M in the bag and now she's going to gloat about it. So while L is attending to Handsome Fellow, T writes M a note and tries to pass it up to him, which he brushes away (passing notes in church is obnoxious) and so she drops it in his lap.
L's lip curled into an amused smirk and continued working on the hand of Handsome Fellow. T looked mildly confused that L could be so nonchalant in such a situation, and that her victory did not cause any pain. Until she actually looked at Handsome Fellow and realized that he could easily be an extra in any X-Men movie, due to his bulk, his strength, and his movie-star tough-guy teddy-bear looks. So T's victory wasn't so sweet after all, as L had managed to find herself a superhero.
As people stood to bear their testimonies to one another, L dropped her arm around Handsome Fellow's shoulders and rubbed the back of his neck, which T took jealous notice of. There was not a single thing L did which T did not account. Hmm, not feeling so winner-y now, are ya?
Once the first hour was over and members were standing to chat with each other, L got M's attention and, indicating the Handsome Fellow, introduced him to her Little Brother. L had actually been massaging an injury Little Brother had acquired during wrestling practice. Whoops T, that little vindictive note passing to certify your championship based on forfeiture was built on unsteady ground. Nice try little lady, but you haven't won.
Hahahahahahahahaha.
It's time for Sunday School and it's been determined that M should accompany Dollface to Gospel Essentials while Dee and Little Brother go to Mission Prep and L'll continue in Gospel Doctrine and join each other again come Break the Fast. Of course, T follows to Gospel Essentials, but that was pretty much a given.
While everyone is gathering in the gym for BtF, L has chosen a seat at a table with Little Brother and Usual Friends, and has confided the situation into another friend, JB (who, as it were, is M's ex and she spoke very highly of him). T was all over M, of course, so L and JB carried on because there were other things to attend to. Managing to get their plates filled at the front of the potluck line, they left their food at the table and went to chat to M, who hadn't noticed JB there. They were chatting well and good, friendly, friendly, while J, from the dance, stood by. Those two had gotten closer and seemed to be a pair, which is good. M needs a dude friend in the church. During the conversation, T has sat down and began eating, with ample seating on either side of her. M and J go to the food while JB and L go to their seats, at a full table, with only one open seat in front of JB and one next to L.
Upon filling their plates, J and M come and sit with L and JB. Shock! L turned to M and asked, "Why aren't you sitting with your girlfriend?" His silence then was returned with L stating, "But then, maybe you ARE sitting with your girlfriend! CP [the girl on his other side] is a LUCKY girl indeed." The poor boy could only stammer. (L really needs to find somebody that can keep up. Really.)
Once everyone begins to tear down and clean up, T is back on M faster than a fat kid on candy, completely ignoring J (wouldn't you know?) and being her usual pest self. JB and L are doing all they can to not punch this girl in the face, and express themselves through facial expressions and angry gestures.
M looks like he's fixing to leave, so L asks where he's going. He said he'd like to go anywhere but home, so L invites him to Sunday Dinner. They arrange for him to follow her and they leave the building. As they separate to go to their individual vehicles, T comes out of the church and M asks if she's okay. Well, it looks like her brother left her here, because his car was HERE when they arrived and now it's gone. (While any girl in a similar situation would have actually told her brother to go ahead and go home because she'll get a ride. We know how this works.) So M offers her a ride home. Face lighting up and a new spring in her step, she accepts and jumps in his car. L told M to just meet her at her apartment when he was done.
L later finds out from RavenHaired Roommate that T lives two minutes away from Sunday Dinner and so L called M arranging a meeting at a nearby location so he didn't have to drive all the way back. Because L is kindhearted like that. (Okay, so it was actually RavenHaired's idea.)
M and L meet fine and M hops into L's car and rides to Sunday Dinner. Along the way, they discuss T and her motivation. L reiterates that no attention had been paid to him UNTIL L had playfully hit on J. M wants to know if T cared for him at all, and L assured him that she may NOW, but it was inspired from jealousy and high-school tactics. Well, wouldn't you know, he felt used. Poor thing, hate to say I Told You So, so I'll just say... I Was Right.
Sunday Dinner went well. L had warned M of T and he was beginning to see the light. It wasn't that L was trying to get M for herself, but genuine warning because T is flipping INSANE and few people can tolerate her for very long. She's a very sweet girl, she is, but the need to dominate everything and everyone is obnoxious. Very self-centered... just... very high-school still. Perfect for a Disney attraction, but that's pretty much it. For now.
L introduced M to her adopted family and invited him into her sanctuary. The home in which Sunday Dinner is hosted is truly L's safe place. It's a big deal for L to invite someone to Sunday Dinner. And everything is going well.
Everyone went home and L is watching movies with her BFFdude and M sits beside her. Not only does he sit beside her, but as the evening progresses, he gets snuggly and cuddly. Leaning on her shoulder, holding her hand, kissing her palm, just snuggly, cuddly stuff. And L thinks, "Hey, he got over T pretty fast. Neat."
M tells L that he'll be telling T what's what and that nothing will be happening between them. Sweet. Apparently, T thinks that someone does not need to define their relationship for them to be official. By merely going out (even once) they are together. So, due to Saturday's activities, they're together, in her mind. So he was going to call her and clarify that that is not so. Fabulous.
When L and M separated for the evening, L made sure to ask M what was going on between the two, so she didn't turn into T and think something was going on when it wasn't. When M answered that he's "just talking to people right now" L understood that she was nothing more than a snugglebuddy and was a little irked. But knowing that is better than not knowing.
M and L made plans to go running Monday morning at 9. Good night, good night.
3.07.2009
Church Dances are funny
Last night was the branch dance and I went. Crazy, right? Yeah, I know. And not only did I go, but I actually spent most of the time NOT standing around doing nothing. It was loads of fun, for reals. And I'm not just saying that, like I usually do about dances.
Today's story involves three other characters, which will only be referred to by letter. There's J, the nerd boy that every girl seems to be falling in love with, T, the girl who is pretty much in love with J, and M, Dee's pal that I think is pretty awesome.
I'm not especially palsy-walsy with T, but she can be fun from time to time, and, it being a dance, I was spending time with her. M had never been to a dance before and due to the fact that he kinda sorta knew me a little bit, was hanging out with me. And, since T is in love with J, and I was hanging out with T, and M was with me, we had a nice little JLTM thing going on. (The L is me, of course.) (Silly.)
Despite T's attraction to J, nothing is going on between the two and she made it pretty clear that it wasn't her choice. At one point last night, J was doing this absolutely nerd-tastic dance and in complete jest, I begged him to date me. He obviously had never been approached in such a way and didn't really have a response. T pulled me aside and told me not to do that again. I assured her that I was only joking and she still told me to not joke like that. I told her not to worry, since I wasn't into him and if he did ask me out (which he won't) that I would say no (which was probably a bit of a lie) because I don't like him (which is not a lie) and she does, and I don't do that to friends (true story). She could only reply with "Still, don't do it." Okay, okay. Sheesh.
Two minutes later she turns right around and becomes velcro to M. Which I find just too, too funny. Sure, I like M a bit, he's a cool dude, but I hadn't marked him as mine or anything. I hadn't been throwing myself at him
(which I'm actually known to do on occasion, eh #2?) or hanging on him or anything; he and I were just talking to each other more than to anyone else. No big deal, no lines of territory, but that was enough, I suppose, for T.
I find it just so funny that that even happened. I'm not gonna lie, I was annoyed, but not because of "breach of territory" or anything, mostly because T was just being obnoxious about it.
We ended up getting a group together to VI and somehow I ended up across from J and next to T, who had M on her other side. She'd arrived with J, and was wearing the button-up shirt he'd earlier been sporting, but still latched onto M. Mildly rude, I feel.
She began to complain that it was cold, constantly (which it wasn't) until M let her wear his suit jacket. Then at some point it kinda looked like they were holding hands, or close to it. And then he ordered pie, which they shared, no biggie... except for the whole spoon-sharing bit. That... that was a little weird.
So let's get this all together, T likes J and was miffed at me for fake hitting on him, and she was wearing his shirt, but hanging all over M and wearing his coat and sharing his spoon(!!!) and being handsy. Too funny.
When we left, I texted M, "So you and T, eh?" I get a call from him asking, "Who told you?" I relayed to him the signs and wonders of the evening. He informed me that first, she was cold, second, he was being nice, and third, she was hungry. (Hungry enough to share a spooooooon with someone you met four hours ago? I know VI has PLENTY of utensils and there were quite a few clean ones at our table.) I then reminded him that T was mad at me for what I said to J, and she was wearing his shirt, as well. He seemed to not mind until the shirt bit and then he got all offended.
And Dee and Bri are on the verge of murdering T when they see her again, because of the whole thing and how she acted the whole night long.
I love church dances.
3.05.2009
3.04.09 | Screaming Cell Phones
Things are still gravy out here. Can't complain too much, you know how it goes, of course.
I'm in A&P III now, we've finished studying the Integumentary System, which is the skin, and I got a 96% on it before the extra credit, so I got well over 100% total, which makes me feel better about my complete frustration over the terrible teaching method this mod. Seriously, it's so terrible.
The system we're focusing on now is the Circulatory system, specifically the blood part, we'll get onto the Lymph later. So I can follow a single drop of blood throughout the entire body and tell you where it's going and what it's doing and how it all gets done. Which I promise to forget as soon as the final is over.
I like my teacher and all, she's a fabulous person, I'm sure, but I'm really over her teaching style. We have this massive text book, and a slideshow that basically summarizes the chapter we're studying. No worries. With Julie, a slideshow meant that we didn't have to read the book unless we had to do workbook assignments. But with Barbara it just means we get the same information AGAIN!!!! Yay!!!!
Actually, what happens is we read out loud as a class a few slides, and then turn to the pages in the textbook and read the same information again, just in a little more detail. And then Barbara reads the EXACT SAME SENTENCE after whoever just read it.
I'm over that. I don't really feel like I'm learning anything this way. The other day we finished everything early, so she said we could just read through the textbook (again) to make sure we really understood the information. I asked her if we could just draw a heart on the board and label it and make sure we knew the parts the direction the valves pump and everything. Barbara said that was a great idea, and "let" me draw the heart and have everyone tell me the parts. But it WAS better than reading from that freaking textbook.
Really, I hate textbooks. The entire class hates textbooks. And can you blame us? This is massage and we're pretty hands on, if you can imagine, so the whole "read a book to learn it" schtick doesn't play too well. Granted, how hands on can you be with the circulatory system and heart? But really, just having someone draw the heart on the board and give us a discussion on the thing is SO much better. Gilbert came in and did just that and it was AMAZING. I actually learned something. Imagine, having your teacher teach. I know, crazy, right? But I like Barb as a person...
I love my roommates, by the way, and all the crazy fun we have. I'm sure the neighbors are tired of hearing us scream. Wouldn't be surprised in the least.
3.04.2009
Eee PC | Easy to Learn, Work and Play
OMG! I'm totally linking my lappy to blogspot. This is so exciting. I'll probably delete this later, but for now, I'm just figuring out how everything works together here. OH! And I downloaded the zune software to my computer and updated my zune! Yay life!
I pretty much am in love with my laptop. I named it Oblivion. Because that's how we roll.
love it
Over the mountain, over the sea,
Back where my heart is longing to be,
Please let the light that shines on me
Shine on the one I love.
I see the moon; the moon sees me
Down through the leaves of the old oak tree.
Please let the light that shines on me
Shine on the one I love.
I hear the lark; the lark hears me,
Singing a song with a melody.
Please let the lark that sings for me
Sing for the one I love.
I kiss a rose; the rose kisses me,
Fragrant as only a rose can be.
Please let the Rose that comforts me
Comfort the one I love.
Back where my heart is longing to be,
Please let the light that shines on me
Shine on the one I love.
I see the moon; the moon sees me
Down through the leaves of the old oak tree.
Please let the light that shines on me
Shine on the one I love.
I hear the lark; the lark hears me,
Singing a song with a melody.
Please let the lark that sings for me
Sing for the one I love.
I kiss a rose; the rose kisses me,
Fragrant as only a rose can be.
Please let the Rose that comforts me
Comfort the one I love.
3.03.2009
Oh today, what a day!
So all is well. Life is great as can be right now. A bunch of wonderful things happened all at once and I'm loving it. First, I finally went and bought that netbook I'd been eyeing since October. I love it. Sure, for you computer people out there, it isn't the best piece of equipment out there, but I don't need a lot of programs or memory space, since I really only use the thing for the internet, microsoft word, and solitaire. So this is the perfect thing for me. Some folk say it's got a small keypad. I think it's perfect for my hands. I LOVE THIS COMPUTER! And my mom is pretty much amazing and bought me a case for it, so I'm all of 20% cooler than I was originally. Yay life! I'm loving it.
My little sister is on the girl's track team and she's a thrower. She'd mentioned to me that the boosters don't really treat the throwers like the rest of the team, they don't bring them snacks or drinks or anything. She'd also mentioned that some girls on her team said they needed a massage and she'd dropped that she might have a sweet hookup for everyone. Well, that just opened the door for something amazing.
Completely unknown to my sister, I really want to do athletic massage. I prefer to work on athletes and really, really would actually want to work for UNM or NMSU athletics, working with the football or basketball teams. How awesome that would be! and here comes my little track sister, opening the door for me. So I called her coach and volunteered to work on the throwers. I'd just bring my chair and be there through practice just for them. JUST for them.
I went today and the girls loved it. All the other teams had to run past while girls were being worked on and they just soaked in all the jealousy. Every time someone asked if they could have a massage, my answer was that it was for the girl throwers. They couldn't believe that this was JUST for them. When they had to practice with crappy discuses (sp?) and be forgotten by the boosters, THEY have a massage therapist for them. Personally, I think massage is infinitely better than an apple any day.
I'll be there every Tuesday and Thursday, and the day before a meet. This is all just so exciting! Mary thinks she's got it good, but she did me the bigger favor.
The throwing coach, L, talked with the running coach, C, and while they both agreed that the entire team would benefit from massage, neither of them have a problem with me not working on runners until I'm VERY established with the throwers. Until I AM the thrower's MT, and that's what I'm known as, the runners aren't getting it. When my girls asked how long I would be with them, I said "Until the boosters treat you like the rest of the team." They just laughed.
AND DALLAS WAS SELECTED FOR SPECIAL FORCES TRAINING!!!! He's in Medic and Arabic. The kid is a freaking superhero. Can you believe it?! MY BROTHER IS A FRICKIN' MARVEL MAN. He's been going through this training hell out there, he earned his wings, and he's been selected for training. Less than 2% of the American population joins the Army, of that, less than 2% try for special forces training, and of those that do, less than 1% make it. THAT, my dears, is ELITE. Go figure that Dallas wouldn't choose the easy route. Had to go and be amazing, didn't he?
And Arabic is the hardest language they've got out there. He wanted to do French, but the way they determine what language you should be taught is a test. What they do is they make up a language and test you on how well you learned it. Based on certain points and figures in that test comes the outcome of what the Army will teach you to speak. Amazing. AND he's doing medical. He's got 75 credit hours of pre-med to take before he even gets into the medical side. This kid... really doesn't take the slacker's route. He's amazing.
And I got a 96 on my Integumentary test tonight. Things are just getting better and better. I can believe it. All is well.
My little sister is on the girl's track team and she's a thrower. She'd mentioned to me that the boosters don't really treat the throwers like the rest of the team, they don't bring them snacks or drinks or anything. She'd also mentioned that some girls on her team said they needed a massage and she'd dropped that she might have a sweet hookup for everyone. Well, that just opened the door for something amazing.
Completely unknown to my sister, I really want to do athletic massage. I prefer to work on athletes and really, really would actually want to work for UNM or NMSU athletics, working with the football or basketball teams. How awesome that would be! and here comes my little track sister, opening the door for me. So I called her coach and volunteered to work on the throwers. I'd just bring my chair and be there through practice just for them. JUST for them.
I went today and the girls loved it. All the other teams had to run past while girls were being worked on and they just soaked in all the jealousy. Every time someone asked if they could have a massage, my answer was that it was for the girl throwers. They couldn't believe that this was JUST for them. When they had to practice with crappy discuses (sp?) and be forgotten by the boosters, THEY have a massage therapist for them. Personally, I think massage is infinitely better than an apple any day.
I'll be there every Tuesday and Thursday, and the day before a meet. This is all just so exciting! Mary thinks she's got it good, but she did me the bigger favor.
The throwing coach, L, talked with the running coach, C, and while they both agreed that the entire team would benefit from massage, neither of them have a problem with me not working on runners until I'm VERY established with the throwers. Until I AM the thrower's MT, and that's what I'm known as, the runners aren't getting it. When my girls asked how long I would be with them, I said "Until the boosters treat you like the rest of the team." They just laughed.
AND DALLAS WAS SELECTED FOR SPECIAL FORCES TRAINING!!!! He's in Medic and Arabic. The kid is a freaking superhero. Can you believe it?! MY BROTHER IS A FRICKIN' MARVEL MAN. He's been going through this training hell out there, he earned his wings, and he's been selected for training. Less than 2% of the American population joins the Army, of that, less than 2% try for special forces training, and of those that do, less than 1% make it. THAT, my dears, is ELITE. Go figure that Dallas wouldn't choose the easy route. Had to go and be amazing, didn't he?
And Arabic is the hardest language they've got out there. He wanted to do French, but the way they determine what language you should be taught is a test. What they do is they make up a language and test you on how well you learned it. Based on certain points and figures in that test comes the outcome of what the Army will teach you to speak. Amazing. AND he's doing medical. He's got 75 credit hours of pre-med to take before he even gets into the medical side. This kid... really doesn't take the slacker's route. He's amazing.
And I got a 96 on my Integumentary test tonight. Things are just getting better and better. I can believe it. All is well.
2.02.2009
It's a bit Touch & Go
Our stolen internet connection, I mean.
"All is well in the world," I say with a lopsided grin and eyes tinted with panic.
Friday and Saturday was the 8-stake Snow Activity in Los Alamos. I was grateful to be driving my ugly PT Cruiser mini-hearse mini-mommy-mobile (and I LOVE IT that way!) because it fit 4 girls so much better than my Beetle did last year. I believe we made to LA in record time, but that tends to happen when you are consistantly going 80 mph on a 55 mph road. Kelly and I were playing leapfrog the whole time (stupid boys -- I was the caravan leader! You don't drive in front of the caravan leader! That's why they're called the LEADER).
But Friday night was a great deal of fun. Everyone signed in and got their room assignments, I was with the girls I drove up with plus 1. Dinner was enchiladas, which I thought were amazing, but seemed to be a bit hot for everyone else. Then we had an ugly sweater contest (and I never thought I'd see the horrors...) and played tug-o-war.
The Tug-o-War was the highlight of the indoor stuff. First it was University Branch v. West Mesa, then University v. Everyone Else. Then WM girls v. University girls, then Girls v. Guys. University did well in each round (and I say that as a good loser) except for the fact they CHEATED with the girls, because there were some dudes pulling that rope! ...Unless they have very hairy women in their branch. Which would explain why the marriage rate in that branch is so very low, as opposed to the great West Mesa Branch's numbers.
When it came to Girls v Guys, we were all set to go. I was at the end and had the rope tight around my butt (secret weapon) and all the girls had a firm grip. As soon as the whistle was blown and the guys yelled, "PULL!" the girls let go. There was a huge *THUD* as guys fell against the wall. It was pretty sweet. I don't mind losing for that. I wish it was YouTubed... Oh well.
Then we went to the outdoor ice skating rink and it was lovely. It was a bit warmer this year than last, so there were less folks trying to "warm each other up," which also meant less relationships began this year, but that's alright. I don't care. Everyone seemed to be having a good time except for one fella, "Mic" who seemed downright miserable. I would have gone up and asked him what was wrong, except for the fact everything I do that is anything above Ignoring is interpreted as Head Over Heels In Love.
Other'n that, ice skating was a blast. A few people from WM branch said that we ought to do this as a branch activity sometime, since it's OH SO FUN. We'll let the FHE committee do something about it.
We went to the hotel around 12:15 and I was asleep by 12:45. I hear there were some idiots running up and down the halls banging on doors, and my roommmate chewed them out (good for her). I hope that other guests didn't have a hard time sleeping that night and there weren't any complaints. This is a good activity, but I wouldn't blame the hotel for not renting to us again next year with the shenanigans pulled this year and last.
And some brilliant kids decided to go dancing at a bar. Fabulous! Except for the part where they brought an UNDERAGE person with them, and got the whole lot kicked out. Seriously, Mormons at a bar?! What were you thinking?! Or should I ask, WERE you thinking?
Saturday morning was fine, as far I could tell. Breakfast was a fabulous buffet, so no complaints there. Until they ran out of forks, which was awkward for Melon Girl, since she had to eat with a knife. Mic was mad-dogging me the whole time, which I just didn't get.
As my roommate and I were about to get on the elevator to go, I saw Mic and I told him about the dream I'd had the night before, where he and I lived in El Salvador and he was eating soup. (I didn't tell him about the gun fight.) And he just cut me off and walked away. Obviously angry at me. Oh well. No skin off my nose. As my roommie and I were getting off the elevator, Mic comes up to me and says, "I stopped having dreams about you when you said you didn't want to see me except at church." Like it was supposed to hurt me, or sting, or something! Ha, nice try kid, you aren't equipped to play that game. So I cheerfully replied with, "I KNOW! That's what made it so crazy! Have a good day!"
Oh, and the snap back fired. Sorry dude, you can't make me feel bad for doing that, it just won't happen. Partly due to the fact that I am an android and completely unable to feel sorrow or regret, but mostly due to the fact that I am annoyed by you.
So. Yes. Saturday breakfast was great. As my roommate and I were walking down the hall, I leaned to her and asked, "He dreamed about me?" She laughed, since she's in the same boat as I am when it comes to Mic. Better me than her, I suppose.
She and I came home after breakfast, rather than go sledding with the group. And I'm glad. It was amazing, the drive up took half a tank of gas, but the drive home only took not even a quarter. ...God loves me.
So on Saturday, my roommates decided to help me and do a good deed for me and assist with stripping the black out of my hair so we could dye it brown. It didn't go well AT ALL. The stripping product only stripped a blob on the top of my head and lightened some of my tips. So I had a big white/blonde/orange THING on the top of my otherwise raven-black head, with some red/orange tips. I'm quietly freaking out (because this is my HAIR!) but assuring my girls that "it's okay, it's only hair, i've had worse than this done to me before...". Except it WASN'T okay. I was on the verge of Hulking out and smashing things while I scream. (The only thing that stopped me was the fact that the last time I did that they had to bring in the military and it was a big mess.)
We get the dark brown dye and color my hair, only to find that "we" have missed a few spots. Fabulous. I have black/brown/ORANGE hair! They take me out to dinner and buy me another box of hairdye and when we get home, color my hair again. My new nickname should be TwoTone, because THAT'S WHAT MY HAIR IS! But the girls assured me that you couldn't tell and that it looked okay, and only in the light could you notice a difference if you were looking for it. Yeah, I still didn't feel better.
I texted my bff Jim and on Sunday he said he couldn't tell. But he's a boy, so that didn't help. Even though he's a pro at color matching, he's still a BOY and just doesn't get it. After church he and I went to a superbowl party where my friend Iwalani was, and she's going to school for cosmetology, so if anyone could help me with my hair, it'd be her. She said she couldn't tell the difference either. I felt a lot better. Almost, almost, almost on the verge of letting it go.
Then I get home. And I'm brushing my hair, checking it out in the light to see what Nani and Jim saw. Oh, I saw a lot more than they did. I saw... ORANGE. Yeah. A good chunk of my hair is brown, but I still have orange spots.
I'm officially freaking out again. I'm just going to let it go for a couple weeks, then I'm going to buy two boxes of blonde and start over. AAAAAAAAAUGH!
"All is well in the world," I say with a lopsided grin and eyes tinted with panic.
Friday and Saturday was the 8-stake Snow Activity in Los Alamos. I was grateful to be driving my ugly PT Cruiser mini-hearse mini-mommy-mobile (and I LOVE IT that way!) because it fit 4 girls so much better than my Beetle did last year. I believe we made to LA in record time, but that tends to happen when you are consistantly going 80 mph on a 55 mph road. Kelly and I were playing leapfrog the whole time (stupid boys -- I was the caravan leader! You don't drive in front of the caravan leader! That's why they're called the LEADER).
But Friday night was a great deal of fun. Everyone signed in and got their room assignments, I was with the girls I drove up with plus 1. Dinner was enchiladas, which I thought were amazing, but seemed to be a bit hot for everyone else. Then we had an ugly sweater contest (and I never thought I'd see the horrors...) and played tug-o-war.
The Tug-o-War was the highlight of the indoor stuff. First it was University Branch v. West Mesa, then University v. Everyone Else. Then WM girls v. University girls, then Girls v. Guys. University did well in each round (and I say that as a good loser) except for the fact they CHEATED with the girls, because there were some dudes pulling that rope! ...Unless they have very hairy women in their branch. Which would explain why the marriage rate in that branch is so very low, as opposed to the great West Mesa Branch's numbers.
When it came to Girls v Guys, we were all set to go. I was at the end and had the rope tight around my butt (secret weapon) and all the girls had a firm grip. As soon as the whistle was blown and the guys yelled, "PULL!" the girls let go. There was a huge *THUD* as guys fell against the wall. It was pretty sweet. I don't mind losing for that. I wish it was YouTubed... Oh well.
Then we went to the outdoor ice skating rink and it was lovely. It was a bit warmer this year than last, so there were less folks trying to "warm each other up," which also meant less relationships began this year, but that's alright. I don't care. Everyone seemed to be having a good time except for one fella, "Mic" who seemed downright miserable. I would have gone up and asked him what was wrong, except for the fact everything I do that is anything above Ignoring is interpreted as Head Over Heels In Love.
Other'n that, ice skating was a blast. A few people from WM branch said that we ought to do this as a branch activity sometime, since it's OH SO FUN. We'll let the FHE committee do something about it.
We went to the hotel around 12:15 and I was asleep by 12:45. I hear there were some idiots running up and down the halls banging on doors, and my roommmate chewed them out (good for her). I hope that other guests didn't have a hard time sleeping that night and there weren't any complaints. This is a good activity, but I wouldn't blame the hotel for not renting to us again next year with the shenanigans pulled this year and last.
And some brilliant kids decided to go dancing at a bar. Fabulous! Except for the part where they brought an UNDERAGE person with them, and got the whole lot kicked out. Seriously, Mormons at a bar?! What were you thinking?! Or should I ask, WERE you thinking?
Saturday morning was fine, as far I could tell. Breakfast was a fabulous buffet, so no complaints there. Until they ran out of forks, which was awkward for Melon Girl, since she had to eat with a knife. Mic was mad-dogging me the whole time, which I just didn't get.
As my roommate and I were about to get on the elevator to go, I saw Mic and I told him about the dream I'd had the night before, where he and I lived in El Salvador and he was eating soup. (I didn't tell him about the gun fight.) And he just cut me off and walked away. Obviously angry at me. Oh well. No skin off my nose. As my roommie and I were getting off the elevator, Mic comes up to me and says, "I stopped having dreams about you when you said you didn't want to see me except at church." Like it was supposed to hurt me, or sting, or something! Ha, nice try kid, you aren't equipped to play that game. So I cheerfully replied with, "I KNOW! That's what made it so crazy! Have a good day!"
Oh, and the snap back fired. Sorry dude, you can't make me feel bad for doing that, it just won't happen. Partly due to the fact that I am an android and completely unable to feel sorrow or regret, but mostly due to the fact that I am annoyed by you.
So. Yes. Saturday breakfast was great. As my roommate and I were walking down the hall, I leaned to her and asked, "He dreamed about me?" She laughed, since she's in the same boat as I am when it comes to Mic. Better me than her, I suppose.
She and I came home after breakfast, rather than go sledding with the group. And I'm glad. It was amazing, the drive up took half a tank of gas, but the drive home only took not even a quarter. ...God loves me.
So on Saturday, my roommates decided to help me and do a good deed for me and assist with stripping the black out of my hair so we could dye it brown. It didn't go well AT ALL. The stripping product only stripped a blob on the top of my head and lightened some of my tips. So I had a big white/blonde/orange THING on the top of my otherwise raven-black head, with some red/orange tips. I'm quietly freaking out (because this is my HAIR!) but assuring my girls that "it's okay, it's only hair, i've had worse than this done to me before...". Except it WASN'T okay. I was on the verge of Hulking out and smashing things while I scream. (The only thing that stopped me was the fact that the last time I did that they had to bring in the military and it was a big mess.)
We get the dark brown dye and color my hair, only to find that "we" have missed a few spots. Fabulous. I have black/brown/ORANGE hair! They take me out to dinner and buy me another box of hairdye and when we get home, color my hair again. My new nickname should be TwoTone, because THAT'S WHAT MY HAIR IS! But the girls assured me that you couldn't tell and that it looked okay, and only in the light could you notice a difference if you were looking for it. Yeah, I still didn't feel better.
I texted my bff Jim and on Sunday he said he couldn't tell. But he's a boy, so that didn't help. Even though he's a pro at color matching, he's still a BOY and just doesn't get it. After church he and I went to a superbowl party where my friend Iwalani was, and she's going to school for cosmetology, so if anyone could help me with my hair, it'd be her. She said she couldn't tell the difference either. I felt a lot better. Almost, almost, almost on the verge of letting it go.
Then I get home. And I'm brushing my hair, checking it out in the light to see what Nani and Jim saw. Oh, I saw a lot more than they did. I saw... ORANGE. Yeah. A good chunk of my hair is brown, but I still have orange spots.
I'm officially freaking out again. I'm just going to let it go for a couple weeks, then I'm going to buy two boxes of blonde and start over. AAAAAAAAAUGH!
1.22.2009
yep yep and how
Things are going pretty decently, I feel. Work's only got me scheduled one night a week, so I'm definitely turning in applications everywhere. And by "everywhere" I mean "where ever doesn't suck... when I remember."
School's going well. We're finishing up deep tissue massage and the other night I was the demo for back work. That's right, she worked on my back for 20 minutes and then handed (ha) me over to a classmate who then worked on me for 45 minutes. Best night of my life. Deep tissue rocks on its own, but then to have over an hour of work on just my back. Best night... yeah. Seriously, I would much rather have all my limbs skipped and just have the focus on my back. Anyhow, by the end of it, I was so massage-drunk that for five minutes I had a dopey look on my face and the only thing I could say was "...Hiii....."
Best night EVER.
School's going well. We're finishing up deep tissue massage and the other night I was the demo for back work. That's right, she worked on my back for 20 minutes and then handed (ha) me over to a classmate who then worked on me for 45 minutes. Best night of my life. Deep tissue rocks on its own, but then to have over an hour of work on just my back. Best night... yeah. Seriously, I would much rather have all my limbs skipped and just have the focus on my back. Anyhow, by the end of it, I was so massage-drunk that for five minutes I had a dopey look on my face and the only thing I could say was "...Hiii....."
Best night EVER.
1.07.2009
Interesting how that works out.
So I tell a classmate that I have a boyfriend, and suddenly he wants to take me out to eat. What the heck? I've only been hitting on him since... June and NOW he wants to do something, because he "can't" since I have a boyfriend?
Joke's on him. I'm still as single as ever. Bwahahahahaha.
But I do have a date tomorrow night. I'll call him Mac. So... Mac and I are gonna hang out at IHOP, because that's what superstars like us do.
Joke's on him. I'm still as single as ever. Bwahahahahaha.
But I do have a date tomorrow night. I'll call him Mac. So... Mac and I are gonna hang out at IHOP, because that's what superstars like us do.
1.03.2009
PAJAMA DAY
Lazy day pajama day, that's today. Dee and I stayed up until 6 this morning talking. I haven't done that in... forEVER.
Dee and I pretty much hate anyone with a Y chromosome. Except for #1, because he's PERFECT.
And I fries close-day nights, by the way.
Dee and I pretty much hate anyone with a Y chromosome. Except for #1, because he's PERFECT.
And I fries close-day nights, by the way.
1.02.2009
And Life is Pretty Much Amazing
I now live with the Girls. I'm pretty stoked to be here. These ladies are amazing and that's really all that matters. Some people think that 5 girls living together in a two-room apartment isn't such a hot idea, but I think we'll be fine. Mostly because all of us are freaking awesome and Awesome always gets along.
I'm sad to be leaving Jamie and Brett, but not so sad to leave the Sin House. Justin had more estrogen than I could handle (and I say that with love) and Andriana... well, she's nice but I wouldn't have chosen to live with her if it wasn't for the fact she was living in the same house as my BFF and her BF. But J&B are moving to Los Lunas, so I didn't feel tooooo bad about leaving. I can't believe it took ONE DAY to move all my stuff. I had help, of course, but looking at how few possessions I actually have, I think I could be a nomad quite easily. ...So long as I can rent a storage garage for all my books and journals and schtuff.
I left a hair dryer and a few curling irons, but I think I'll survive.
My #1 and #2 are leaving for Utah tomorrow. Tragic. But I'll survive.
BECAUSE I HAVE AWESOME ROOMMATES!!! AW YEAAAAAH.
I'm sad to be leaving Jamie and Brett, but not so sad to leave the Sin House. Justin had more estrogen than I could handle (and I say that with love) and Andriana... well, she's nice but I wouldn't have chosen to live with her if it wasn't for the fact she was living in the same house as my BFF and her BF. But J&B are moving to Los Lunas, so I didn't feel tooooo bad about leaving. I can't believe it took ONE DAY to move all my stuff. I had help, of course, but looking at how few possessions I actually have, I think I could be a nomad quite easily. ...So long as I can rent a storage garage for all my books and journals and schtuff.
I left a hair dryer and a few curling irons, but I think I'll survive.
My #1 and #2 are leaving for Utah tomorrow. Tragic. But I'll survive.
BECAUSE I HAVE AWESOME ROOMMATES!!! AW YEAAAAAH.
1.01.2009
Best 2009 EVAR
That's what this is. Just so you know
I got a couple resolutions, but not that many because I'm realistic and all. My first is to, as Paul says, "De-fat myself." Second is to become even awesomer.
The New Year's Dance was pretty much the best I've ever gone to. And I'm going to TOTALLY brag about the kisses I got from my #1 and #2 on my list of 5 Most Perfect Guys On The Planet, so I GOT NEW YEAR'S KISSES FROM MY #1 AND #2!!!! YAAAAAAAY!
Best beginning to New Year EVAR!
I got a couple resolutions, but not that many because I'm realistic and all. My first is to, as Paul says, "De-fat myself." Second is to become even awesomer.
The New Year's Dance was pretty much the best I've ever gone to. And I'm going to TOTALLY brag about the kisses I got from my #1 and #2 on my list of 5 Most Perfect Guys On The Planet, so I GOT NEW YEAR'S KISSES FROM MY #1 AND #2!!!! YAAAAAAAY!
Best beginning to New Year EVAR!
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