That was bizarre.

I had a dream last night that a girl I hate (T) made me a Shrek-themed cake. It was decorated in brown fondant and had this sort of volcano thing going on with green goo icing. But when the "volcano" was turned on, a sort of poison was leaked out and filled the tiers of the cake. I knew she had poisoned this cake, and I already hated her, but some little elf guy came along and told me to not eat the bottom tier because it was the most affected, but if I scraped off part of the top of the middle tier there was little/no poison in there. So I had a bite.
This poison made it so my blood wouldn't coagulate. Since I had no intention of being injured any time soon, I didn't worry about it.
Later, I was taking a shower and T pulled back the curtain and tried to kill me, but only managed to stab me in the neck. I bled profusely, but lashed back at her, and she ran off. I continued with my shower and blood turned the water pink. I went on with my day, well aware of the slash in my neck, but being careful to not move it too much because I knew that my blood wouldn't clot and scab over because of the poison.
I went to a massage chair event at my church's parking lot (where I'd also eaten the cake earlier) and they had tables set up instead so we were offering full-body massages instead of just chair. I ended up working on a linebacker for the Denver Broncos, but he refused to take his bright orange shoes off. As I worked on him, his skin became invisible and I could see his muscles. As I pushed the stroke from origin to insertion, it went blue with my hand, and then became red as I returned to the origin. It was AWESOME. I mentioned it to him, but he strained his neck trying to see it, which caused his muscle to contract and remain blue. When we were getting towards the end, he tried to make a deal with me where he'd over pay me for the massage if I went with him to a tatoo parlor and picked out a new tat for him. I agreed, and ran off.
T saw me and was surprised I was alive still. Because I did eat the cake, my blood would not coagulate, but because I'd had so little, I wouldn't die from her injury and eventually the poison would flush from my system and I'd heal. She was disappointed and shocked. Everyone at church chased after her, shaking fists and yelling. She jumped in her car and drove off. Someone tailed her and they disappeared down Montano Blvd.

Bizzare.